US: Hey! It’s you, huh? Asking me to save you…Ha Ha Ha! Even if you’re inclined to worry, the Hero is already here so there’s no need! Okay! Where are the bad guys? I’ll exterminate them for you with a huge KA-POW!
Huh? Am I wrong? About what? Whaaaat? You don’t need me to chase them out? And I was really looking forward to it, too. Ah-! You wanna eat a hamburger? …okay! I’ll eat them myself!
[NOMNOMNOMNOM]
Ooh~ I see. You can’t get to sleep, so you’d like me to help put you to sleep. Mission accepted! Do you have any sort of request? …oh, mhm, ahah, okay, hmm, mhm, aaah~ Okay, I get it, mhm, mhm… Okay! If we just count sheep, that should do the trick, yeah? You’re just like England, suggesting such a classic go-to-sleep method, but I’m a Hero, y’know, so I’ll definitely grant your request!
Have you finished preparations? Okay, then hurry up and get into bed. I’m gonna start counting!
One SHEEP! Two sheep, three sheep, four sheep, five sheep YAY! SIX SHEEP! Seven sheep, eight sheep! Ninesheep, TE~N…SHEEP!
How was that? My counting definitely makes you want to slee…it doesn’t? Ha Ha Ha! Don’t worry about it! We’re only at ten sheep, after all. We’ll just start where we left off. YOOHOO!
Huh? What is it? Eeeeeh? You don’t like the way I count? Well, actually, England said the exact same thing the last time I did that, but…really, you guys! I guess it can’t be helped… Okay! I don’t really like slow, deliberate counting, but I’ll try!
Eleven sheep. Twelve sheep. Thirteen sheep. Fourteen sheep. Fifteen sheep. Sixteen sheep. Seventeen sheep. Eighteen sheep. Nineteen sheep. Twenty sheep.
…you still can’t sleep? I’m getting tired of counting sheep. I definitely think it would be much more fun if we counted hamburgers or ice cream. Yeah…but the last time I tried to count my special items, someone got super pissy and yelled You can’t go to sleep counting that crap! so I wonder if it’s no good after all…
Huh? Ha Ha! Even if you didn’t make that super worried look, I’m not going to just stop halfway through! Because I’m a Hero. I cannot ignore a person in need! Ookay, cover up with your blanket and snuggle in! If you don’t pull it up all the way to your shoulders, the dreaded Cold Monster* will come and get you! Personally, I’ve never been caught by him.
All snuggled in? You’re not cold, are you? Okaay! Let’s start counting again!
Twenty one sheep. Twenty two sheep. Twenty three sheep. Twenty four sheep. Twenty five sheep. Twenty six sheep. Twenty seven sheep. Twenty eight sheep. Twenty nine sheep. Thirty sheep.
Oh~! Are you sleepy yet? If I count like that, it’s pretty effective isn’t it? Huh? Me? Well…in the past, when I had trouble sleeping, there was definitely times when someone counted sheep for me just like this. It’s a little embarrassing, but I would doze off pretty fast. I don’t know why, but the person counting always fell asleep first. Come on, you were so close to falling asleep, I don’t need to tell you any more of this story, right? I’m gonna start counting again, so close your eyes. Okay, here I go!
Thirty one sheep~ Thirty two sheep. Thirty three sheep. Thirty four sheep. Thirty five sheep. Thirty six sheep. Thirty seven sheep. Thirty eight sheep. Thirty nine…sheep. Forty…sheep. Forty one…sheep. Forty two sheep. Forty three…sheep. Forty four…sheep. Forty five…sheep. Forty six…sheep. Forty seven…sheep. Forty eight sheep. Forty nine…sheep…. Fifty….sheep…..
Looks like your sleeping peacefully. Heros really can do anything, huh? Hehehe, if you have any problems in the future, just call me, okay? If you’re in Manhattan, I can use the metro and be there in an instant. Even if you’re not in Manhattan, though, I’m** always in your heart. Good night.
[T/N: *As in, you’ll catch a cold. Not brrrr-cold.
**Technically, he said ‘Heros are always in your heart,’ but since he’s the only hero in this conversation, I took an artistic liberty. :3]