- Translation by: spaceinvaderdud
- LJ Post
Romano: What the hell? Why am I here?
*reply pause*
Romano: Huh? You can’t sleep? Like I care! What the hell do you want me to do?
*answer pause*
Romano: No, but why do I have to count sheep to you anyways?
*stink eye*
Romano: What?
*complaining*
Romano: Hey!
*more complaining and shouting*
Romano: *sighs* Fine, I got you. You’re not Veneziano now so quit the loud screeching now! I’m ending this ASAP and going home. Now go and lie down somewhere, you bastard.
*Counts until 1:22. Counts 10 sheep.*
Romano: Huh? What are you looking at? If you really wanna fall asleep that bad, then put your back into it! I’m counting for you because you said you couldn’t sleep! You know that, right? Now hurry up and close your eyes.
*close eyes*
Romano: Good. Nice and tight. I’m continuing, damn it.
*Counts until 2:23. Counts 20 sheep.*
Romano: GO TO SLEEP, YOU BASTARD! I’m even counting sheep to you right now! Speaking of, everyone keeps saying to count sheep but why does it have to be sheep?! What’s wrong with counting pizza or tomatoes instead?!
*pause*
Romano: That’s right. It’s not like I have to count sheep. Counting sheep does not match me at all. I’ve decided. I’m going to count tomatoes instead.
*(imaginary) complaint pause*
Romano: You shut up! I’ll count whatever the hell I want!
*another (imaginary) complaint pause*
Romano: What’s with you? If you’ve got a problem, I’m not counting jack! Just be quiet and listen, you moron.
*Counts until 3:55. Counts 30 delicious tomatoes.*
Romano: Now you’re finally getting sleepy huh, ya little SOB! This is embarrassing so hurry up and fall asleep, and forget this ever happened, you moron!
*pause*
Romano: Still, this tomato counting seems to be more effective than sheep counting. Figures an idea I came up with would work. Anything I think up is gold compared to what others think up, ya jerk! Tomatoes really are great. Ahh, now I feel like eating a pizza.
*question pause*
Romano: Huh? I can’t eat one now! I have to put you to sleep first. Now stop the talking and go to sleep!
*Counts until 6:25. Counts 50 delicious tomatoes.*
Romano: Hmph, sound asleep! Damn, you were a handful to deal with, ya jerk! Well, that was embarrassing. This has to be the uh… let’s see… about the 200th time I’ve dealt with something embarrassing since I was born. There was that one time I wet the bed, that time I got blasted off, and how was I suppose to know there was an old man behind me?! *sighs* You worked me hard today, ya jerk! I’ll go drink some wine and go to sleep early.
Romano: *yawns* Buona Notte!