- Translation by: spaceinvaderdud
- LJ Post
Denmark: All right! The two of us can do this somehow! Let’s kick that boss’s tail straight into next week!
Norway: Like that’s happening. We don’t even have a healer in our party.
Denmark: Let’s get a move on, brother! The path to the unknown is waitin’ just for us!
Norway: *sigh* And the fool isn’t even bothered at all.
Denmark: Our battle’s just gettin’ started!
Narrator: Chapter 4 – “This this is Knot our Lost.”
Japan: Italyyy! Are you able to see this messageee?
Germany: It’s no good. Everywhere we go, there’s no reply to it.
Japan: Hmm… We have been searching for so long, and we still have not found him… If we were able to receive even just a bit of information about someone acting like Italy, we would not have searched through all those ruins, the hidden dungeon, and going from bridge to bridge.
Germany: And while we were searching for him, we defeated the so called secret boss too.
Japan: We have also collected almost every weapon obtainable in the game.
Germany: We managed to both raise our levels to 89 too.
Japan: To finish it, we unknowingly collected and completed the Gemstone set.
Germany: Yeah… Is this an example of “that” in your home, Japan?
Japan: Yes… it is.
Germany: I see…Honestly, that Italy. If he was scared, he should’ve contacted me by phone. Hold on a minute, I’ll call him my-
Japan: Ahh, Mr. Germany. Even if you were to contact him by phone, do you think the signal would actually reach him in this area? And our biggest problem is would Italy himself know how to use this feature?
Germany: Curses…
Japan: Tomorrow, I shall go to his home and introduce him to the basics of this game.
Germany: It’d be a big help if you did that.
Japan: Now then, let us take our time in our search and eliminate any monsters that stand in our way.
Germany: Sounds good.
*Spell casting sound effects*
Japan: “Buddha’s Wrath”! All monsters within this range area shall be annihilated!
*Destruction sounds. Never piss off Japan in this game.*
Japan: Phew! *pats dust off clothes* Our investigation should proceed smoothly now.
Germany: I’ve always thought you were the designated healer in the group, but you surprisingly make a great attack mage too.
???: GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
*Germany and Japan gasp and run towards scream*
Japan: A-are you all right?
???: AHHHHHHHH!
Germany: Hey, what’s wrong!?
???: GUWAAAAH!
Japan: Ah!
Germany: Huh? Denmark!?
Denmark: GRAAARG- Oh hey, if it ain’t Germany and Japan! Whoa, what’s up! You two are playing this game too, huh? How’s your side of the bridge going, Germany?
Japan: Goodness, what a sudden recovery!
Germany: You were playing this too, Denmark? The bridge’s construction is going smoothly. *sighs* It feels sort of odd to play an online game and you encounter all these acquaintances. In any case, are you hurt in any way?
Denmark: Huh? Oh yeah, I’m as fit as a fiddle, like always! Oh yeah, you should hear this! I was fighting this huuuge enemy just now, and then when I hit it, there was a “BANG!” and a “BOOM!” and then I was like, “WTF HAPPENED!?” Maaan, I even surprise myself on how strong I am in this game!
Japan: Haha… Ummm, I am truly sorry.
Denmark: Why’re you apologizin’?
Japan: I am really sorry.
Germany: I’m really sorry too.
Denmark: Huh? Huh?
Norway: Brother…
Denmark: Huh?
Norway: I’m painfully shy around strangers so I want to go…
Denmark: Really? In other words, you just wanna have a two man party with m-
*Norway chokes Denmark*
Denmark: Gack… Don’t pull my neckt- *makes choking noises*
Norway: Equip all of your cursed items right now.
*Denmark chokes*
Germany: Huh… What kind of a scenario is this?
Japan: Norway… I see that you are also playing this game too!
Norway: Mm. I see you’re playing this too, Japan.
Japan: I am one of the producers and developers of this game.
Norway: Perfect timing. You got a command that’ll let me put a leash on my brother?
Japan: I humbly apologize. I shall see what I can do.
Norway: …Tch.
Denmark: Uncle… Uncle…!
*Norway lets go*
Denmark: *wheezes* Hahaha, Maan, you really are painfully shy.
Norway: No one’s shy here.
Germany: Have you regained composure? If you have, I have a question to ask. Have you seen Italy?
Denmark: Oh hey, we’re in the same boat! I’ve got ask the same question to! You seen Sve- er, Sweden, Finland, or Iceland around?
Germany: He replied to my question… with another question!?
Japan: He is… so brave!
Norway: No, no. He’s just a mindless imbecile.
Denmark: Huh?
Japan: Unfortunately, I have not seen the three people you are searching for.
Germany: Yeah, that’s right. I haven’t seen those three either.
Denmark: Really? What a darn shame! Ah man.
Norway: Oh rats.
Denmark: I haven’t seen Italy around either.
Germany: I see. Thank you.
Denmark: Hehe!
Japan: If I may ask, were you two gentlemen in the middle of completing a quest?
Denmark: H-huh? O-oh yeah! We were just gonna kick some boss tail!
Norway: We’re lost!
Denmark: W-we are not lost! It’s not like we’re really lost or anything, ya know!
Norway: I go and follow this guy’s lead and we both end up lost.
Denmark: W-w-w-w-WE ARE NOT LOST! No matter which way I look at it, we’re the ones looking for the others here!
Japan: T-they certainly seem to be a merry duo, Mr. Germany.
Germany: If the five of them get together, this would be even more dreadful
Japan: It would seem like it.
Norway: We’re losssttt~, and it’s your fault, stupid brotherrrrr~.
Denmark: I-I’m telling you we’re not lost!
Japan: Now! Now!
Denmark: Sverige (Sweden), Fin, and Ice are obviously the ones who are lost!
Norway: No way.
Denmark: Gununu!
Germany: Calm DOWN!
Denmark: Well then, if you’re searchin’ for someone now too, why don’t we search together? It’d be easier to look with 4 pairs of eyes instead of two!
Japan: Huh? But…
Norway: You don’t want to search with me?
Japan: That is not what I mean.
Norway: Ahh! You don’t wanna search with my brother?
Japan: That is not what I mean either.
Norway: You don’t want to search period!?
Japan: That’s not it!
Germany: Japan… I think it’s better if you consult America about revising the manual to this game.
Japan: Oh, about that… He said quite vehemently, “A game isn’t fun if you just follow the manual! A real game should be played with no limits or bounds! Dying in various ways to complete a game is fun too, you know!?”
Germany: That sounds like something he would say. I think I heard a few disturbing words in that last sentence, but I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it.
Denmark: All right, let’s go! Let’s go look for ’em!
Norway: You’re annoyin’, brother.
Narrator: My, my! I wonder if this group will work out.
Narrator: Now then, let’s change scenes to the outside of the Town of Departure. It seems America and England are preparing for their showdown at the moment.
America: The rules are simple! Whoever reaches the exit to this cave first is the winner of this showdown! The rules may be simple, but the monsters in this cave are super strong, and there’s even a boss!
England: Damn it! I don’t even have that much defense or hp in the first place and he’s asking me to do this!? I’m seriously giving you a knuckle sandwich tomorrow!
America: Hehe~! I’ll give you a few handicaps! I won’t use a single spell or heal myself once! I’ve even given you a whole bunch of healing items to you!
England: Even with that handicap, I won’t have time to heal if I get surrounded. Not only that, the casting time for these spells are so long that I’ll be surrounded easily.
America: Want one more handicap~?
England: Rubbish to that. I don’t want any more sympathy from a cheater with those stats. Only magic… magic is slow, you know?
America: Now then, we’ll be starting any time!
England: Ah! Hey, it’s okay if I use magic, right?
America: Of course! Do your best in besting this showdown with your magic and Hetaeons!
England: And whoever reaches the exit first is the victor, correct?
America: Yup! This is a trial of agility!
England: All right, thank you for the clarification.
*England presses buttons*
England: Grant me your wings and come forth, oh Volitant Hetaeon!
America: Huh.
*Summon appears and England gets on it*
England: Ahahahahahaha! I’ll be going to the exit now! Cheerio, America!
*summon makes noise*
America: Wh… Wh…
England: You’ve always been weak in the head, you know?
America: AHH, I’ve been tricked!
England: Since it’s not against the rules, I’ll be waiting for you at the exit. So you better chop chop!
America: AHH! Wait a minute! I haven’t done anything yet! This is a really lame way to looooooossssseee!
*dead silence*
America: Uhh… I made this entire map from scratch just for this challenge… I’ve been planning this for THREE months…I stayed up so late at night and I even cut my breaks short… I only ate 2 hamburgers a day and I didn’t even drink any shakes during that time! I even trained myself in Advance Clicking! I was looking forward to this day so much, I couldn’t sleep a wink last night and I ended up watching one of those meaningless infomercial showsssss!
America: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*pause*
Denmark: You hear a bird just now?
Norway: That’s a bird, all right.
Germany: How’d you hear a bird from that? That sounds like… America.
Japan: I-I believe you are correct. It seems that we are hearing quite a few screams today.
Germany: That yell doesn’t seem to be one of his normal ones. Let’s go check on him.
Japan: Yes, that would be best.
Denmark: Gotta say though, bud, that weapon of yours is pretty rad!
Norway: It looks just like how my brother’s small toe would look like if it was broken.
*pause*
America: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *cries*
Japan: What is wrong, Mr. America? Your face seems like you are grieving for someone.
America: J-Japan… Japan… I… I… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Japan: Are you all right?
Germany: What’s wrong? What happened to you, America?
America: ENGLAND, YOU IDIOT!
Germany: I think I can imagine what happened now.
Japan: Indeed.
America: AHHHHH, why did this happen!? This is wrong! This is just plain wrong!
Japan: Now! Now! Look, here’s some candy that old ladies always carry with them but you don’t know where they buy them from.
America: Ahh, seriously, where do they buy this stuff?
Japan: Have you calmed down now, Mr. America?
America: Ahh… Yeah, a little.
Germany: What kind of comfort method was that?
Japan: Tis a technique native only to Japan!
*pause*
America: Uh… Hey, can I ask you guys for a small favor? Would you guys look at the skill I made for today but couldn’t show off?