- Based on “The Anglo-Japanese Alliance between two lonely people”
- Translation by: splatteredminds
- LJ Post
England: How The Two Who Were Once Alone Became Allied
Germany: For a while, England was boasting of his splendor, however, America, and Germany as well, were also reaching that status. Moreover, he was aware that preventing Russia from pressuring China, was impossible to do alone. That was how England got the idea “let’s go make friends.” So, the first person England went to was…
England: I don’t have anything against “making friends,” but I don’t really know what I should talk about with Germany. *shakes flowers* Though, even as a sign of friendship… Why did I have to buy a bouquet… for Germany. But, now that I’ve come all the way here, I can’t possibly go back home! Alright, let’s do this.
*he walks up to Germany’s door and knocks*
Germany: *opens the door* Hmm? What is it, so early this morning?
England: He answered…
Germany: England? Why are you-
England: H-hey, Germany! I-I don’t mind becoming friends with you. *presents the bouquet*
Germany: I’ll pass. *closes the door*
England: H-hey, wait a second! *knocks on the door again* Wai… Hey!
Germany: *opens the door* Just shut up! What’s your problem?
England: I-I-I said… I’ll… befriend you-
Germany: Why the hell should I be friends with you? Give me your reason concisely in five second!
England: W-w-well it is… that, you know? For myself.
Germany: Then… it isn’t for myself. *shuts the door again*
England: Ah! Hey!
Germany: And so, England’s plan unexpectedly turned out to be a failure.
England: Germany, you git. Damn. Earlier, you king even moved to my country… France is out of the question. I want Russia to die. It doesn’t look like I’ll be able to be friends with the Triple Alliance. There don’t seem to be advantages in alliances with the Baltics, and Switzerland seems like a lost cause. So are the Netherlands and Belgium… Therefore, after much deliberation, and seeing the current state of things, I wonder how it’d turn out with Japan.
*birds chirping*
England: But, you know, it’s a fact that Japan became amazingly powerful in just a few decades, but the East and the West have such a different way of seeing things, so will he accept it? I-i-if he refuses, I don’t want to become the laughing stock of the whole worl-
*door slides open*
England: Uh-uwahhh!! Y-you, what do you want? State your name!
Japan: Yes…? I’m Japan. You were standing there outside my front door so… Um, you’re England-san, right?
England: Geh… You know my name…
Japan: Naturally. Ah, let’s not talk standing here… please come in.
England: Ah, alright.
Japan: Here you go. Have some socha.
England: Socha? What the heck is “socha”? But this green color is Japanese tea if I’m not mistaken… A new type of beverage? Or… is it an oriental mystery?
Japan: Erm, England-san? You aren’t fond of tea?
England: No, not at all! It’s nothing like that! I’m sure I’ll like it. *sips the tea* Oh? But Japanese tea isn’t sweet.
Japan: S… weet? But I don’t believe tea normally is sweet… May it be… that it isn’t to your taste?
England: Oh, no, it isn’t something like that. It’s perfectly fine as it is.
Japan: Thank you very much.
England: I have heard the rumors about you. “An Oriental island nation that managed to become strong in just a few decades.” I would like to hear your opinion as such a nation.
Japan: My opinion? I suppose… My main concern would be to establish connections with my surroundings. In a world as big as ours, it is impossible to endure all by yourself.
England: Now that you mention it, just a while back when we were besieged together, you helped us a lot. Back then, your country’s… co… mmander, was it? He worked so diligently.
[T/N: Referring to the Seige of Beijing, 1900. The commander mentioned is Shiba Gorou.]
Japan: No, no, not at all. Even small things become great with time, so beginnings are decisive. Whilst we’re on this subject, I’ve been a little concerned by Russia-san’s recent conduct. To deal with that problem, communication with other countries will be necessary.
England: Japan has pretty valid opinions.
Japan: However, I have been living by myself for a long time. So, to be honest, I’m not really aware of where the other countries stand. In particular, I have absolutely no idea about affairs in Europe and America.
England: Oh, is that so? Then, come to my place next time. I’ll show you around.
Japan: Thank you very much. If I were able to become friends with a person such as yourself, England-san, I’d feel more confident.
England: F… riends? A-ah, yes, of course.
*clock chimes the hour*
England: Oh, it’s already this late? I’m sorry for having stay for so long. I should be heading back home now.
Japan: Alright, please be careful. Next time, I will visit you. I really want to hear your stories too, England-san.
England: I-is that so? I’ll be preparing some delicious scones and black tea, then.
Japan: Black tea? Do you have more teas with different flavors over there?
England: Yes. The color is quite different and we also add sugar to it.
Japan: Sugar in tea?! Ah… as expected, Western culture is so complicated.
England: We import a lot from India. Of course, America happened to throw boxes full of it into the sea some time ago.
Japan: It looks like you’ve been having it hard too, England-san.
England: N-no… not so much… Ah, it rains a lot at my place, so don’t forget to bring your umbrella and coat with you. It’d be troublesome if you caught yourself a cold.
Japan: Yes, I understand. I will be looking forward to the day I can visit you.
Germany: This was how England left Japan.
England: *sighs* Today, I feel like Japan and I got closer. Alright. I’ll import tea leaves from India. I’ll also have to look up some nice sightseeing spots… Oh, that’s right, I wonder what he’ll think of London Tower?
*door opens and someone runs in*
Servant: Excuse me! It seems as though Japan’s supervisor has paid a visit to Russia!
England: T-to Russia?!
Servant: Apparently, they are proposing making Japan and Russia friends.
England: I-is it so?
Servant: Futhermore, it appears as though Japan will form a Japanese-Russian Alliance, and may become our enemy.
England: Even if that happens, it’ll be fine.
*depression hits with a boom*
England: I-I’m used to being alone anyway! It wouldn’t be a problem at all! This isn’t shocking at all.
Servant: Er, the tears…
England: I’m not crying! This Splendid Isolation is marvelous! *shaky laugh* I-I’m just going out back onto the mountain for a while. *steps out and walks off, shutting the door behind*
*owl hoots*
England: Ah, stars are so much of a pain. Heh. That star right there is definitely laughing at me for standing here all by myself. *chuckles*
Japan: *in distance* En… gland-san! England-san! England-san!
England: *chuckles* It’s alright. I’ve been alone all this time, anyway. So, even now…
Japan: *runs up a bit out of breath* E-England-san. I’m so glad! So this is where you were. *pants*
England: J-Japan? Why? Weren’t you with Russia…?
Japan: I apologize for coming so late.
England: I don’t want to hear farewells.
Japan: It’s not like that. That was done solely by the supervisor. I was also startled that it happened so swiftly. So I came running to you, England-san.
England: Japan…
Japan: I want to form an alliance with you, England-san, if possible.
England: Ah. Japan… I-is that true?
Japan: Yes. It is. If it weren’t so, I wouldn’t have come all the way out here so late at night.
England: I see… Well, I share your feelings.
Japan: England-san.
England: If you feel that way, then we can form the alliance tomorrow.
Japan: Thank you very much!
England: D-don’t misunderstand me! I’m doing it for my sake! It’s not like it’s for you…
Japan: What a blunt person…
England: Well, it’s already late now, so feel free to stay. Because, from now on we’re f-f-friends.
Japan: Heh. Thank you very much. From now on we’re friends, aren’t we?
England: Friends… It has such a nice ring to it! Ah, yes, we are!
Germany: *clears his throat* And that was how England formed an alliance with Japan that was remarkably biasted towards Japan.
Servant: You’ve been quite attentive lately, haven’t you?
*bam!*
England: Alright!! Embargo on the French ports, and a ban on the export of English coal to Russia!
*door opens*
France: Why hello, England! I heard that you’ve formed an alliance with Japan?
England: What is it, France? You jealous? Well, I don’t plan on being friendly with you, even if the sky were to fall.
France: Big Brother has no intent to get intimate with you either, you know? Thanks to you allying with Japan, I suffered a considerable amount of damage.
England: It’s all so that Japan can profit. Suck it up.
France: You… I’m having my troubles here…
England: As if I’d care! Ah, hey! Spread positive information about Japan all over the world as quickly as possible! Afterwards, even with diplomacy, give Japan advantages!
Servant: Yes, sir! *leaves*
France: Ah, you’re somehow in such high spirits…
England: It’s nothing like that! In the end, it’s all for me.
France: *laughs* I really hate this English bastard.
England: *laughs*
America: What was that? What was that? Eh? England was able to make a friend? *laughs* You’re kidding.
Germany: However, there were only a few countries on Earth, who seriously believed that England and Japan had become friends.