- Based on “Happy Birthday!”
- Translation by: splatteredminds
- LJ Post
Announcer: Happy Birthday!
*party poppers popping*
America: Happy Independence Day! It’s my birthday today, ya know!
*clapping*
Japan: Happy birthday, America-san!
Lithuania: Happy Birthday!
America: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Well, everyone, please have fun at my birthday party!
*clapping fades off*
Lithuania: U-uhm, Mr. America, here’s a present for you.
America: Lithuania! What is it? Is it ok if I open it?
Lithuania: Yes. I’m sorry, it’s kind of boring…
America: *opens the gift* Ah! It’s cookies and pound cake… and there’s chocolate, too! Did you make these?
Lithuania: Yes. I made several things, but… I’m sorry they’re kind of plain.
America: That’s not true! Sometimes, I get a sudden craving for your cooking, so I’m really happy! Thank you!
Lithuania: I’m glad you liked it!
France: Hm? It has a nice, sweet smell… Let me have one.
America: No way! I won’t give you any!
France: *chuckles* I was only joking. Here’s a present from me.
America: *laughs* You shouldn’t be whipping out something that has to be censored in the middle of the day, you idiot!
France: It’s my greatest masterpiece… Be careful when using it. That… and this wine I made goes along with it.
America: I don’t know how to use this thing, but thanks for the wine!
Japan: Ah, you sound pretty excited…
America: Oh, Japan! I’m happy you came! And, ya wanna try this?
Japan: Uh, no, I’m fine. Ah, here! It’s not much, but please take it.
America: Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Oh! T-this!! I saw this on TV!! It’s Japan’s newest game platform, isn’t it?! Ohhh! I so wanted this racing game, too!! You even included the steering wheel-shaped controller! Thanks! I’m really happy!
Japan: I’m glad you liked it.
Italy: Whoa, nice! A game and a steering wheel-shaped controller, huh? *whispers to Germany* Huh? This is bad, Germany! Ours is kinda similar…
Germany: No, I don’t think they’re in any way similar.
America: Ah, Italy and Germany! You two are getting along well, as always.
Italy: Heheheh!
Germany: AHEM!
Italy: Whoa, sorry. Here’s our present!
*unveils*
Germany: It’s the car Italy and I developed jointly.
Italy: The very first one, to be remembered for posterity!
Germany: It has a navigation system, of course.
America: Ehhhhh? Wha? Seriously?! Wow! Is it alright to give me something like this?!
Germany: Yes, it is. By the way, this is a low emission car, so it’s better for the environment. From now on, you should pay attention to what’s going on ecologically…
America: Heck no! I refuse.
*clatter*
Germany: You bastard!! You just became older! Stop acting like a child!
America: Hahaha! This is the world’s standard!
Germany: That’s called a double standard! *chases after America* You little!
America: No!
Germany: Be mature!
America: No! What the hell is “maturity”?! Why don’t you tell me what your definition of “maturity” is?!
America: *gets away and pants, out of breath* Gosh, Germany’s as strict as ever!
Russia: What’s wrong, America? You look kinda beaten up…
America: Russia! You came! Well, I guess I have been goofing off a bit…
Russia: Heh! That’s normal for America, though. Ah, right, I have a present for you.
America: Oh! What is it?
Russia: This was custom-made especially, so I thought you could use it.
America: Hm? Perfect fit for everyone… Won’t slip… Won’t fail… For exceedingly small ones… Economic pack… 144 of them.
Russia: Sorry if they’re too big for you. The factory manager yelled at me that he couldn’t make anything smaller.
America: Ho… hohoho… Oh, Russia, you’re really thoughtful. These might last me an entire month.
Russia: Come on now, America! Ah, and it’s rather warm right now, isn’t it? So here’s an invitation to Siberia. There’s no return ticket, though…
America: Thank you! If I get a cold, I’ll use it to wipe my nose!
Russia: Ha! Ha! I’m glad!
America: *opening another gift* Birthday presents make me happy to matter how old I get. Well, getting the Statue of Liberty that time startled me, though.
England: H-hey…
America: Ah, England… You came, too?
England: What? Was I not supposed to attend?
America: But didn’t you… say you hated my birthday?
England: Ah jeez, today’s the worst! Whenever it starts to get around this time, I remember unpleasant things… Every year, I can’t sleep the entire preceding week. My health declines. I feel listless in the morning and I have nightmares at night. I have no appetite, and I don’t feel like doing anything. Well, seeing those things coming to an end today makes me feel better. As it’s finally the last day of this miserable week, I thought I needed to put in an appearance at the party.
America: I feel the same way, England. Each year, when this day comes, I remember your angry face, showing the whites of your eyes, and your reactions as a bad loser. I always feel awesome the week before.
England: Eh?
America: Just kidding~!
England: What the… Don’t joke like that on a day like this, you idiot! I thought my heart was going to be crushed.
America: Hahaha! I guess you’re still you no matter what day it is. I’m a bit relieved.
England: Jeez… Here.
America: Huh? *takes present* England, you’re giving this to me?
England: Well, it is your birthday. I’ve only come here to give you this.
America: Ah! Thank you! I’ll treasure it!
England: Ok. See you. And… happy birthday.
America: England… Yeah! Thank you!
America: *shakes the present* That England… *shakes* Now, I wonder what it could be! It’s pretty big. Alright! Shall I open it? *starts opening the present* Since it’s from England, I’m sure it’s something old! Hehe! 1, 2, open! *opens it and a gag gift pops out and hits him* Gah! Ow!! A Jack-in-the-box? That’s old! That’s way too old! No one would do such a thing these days!
Japan: *runs up* Ah, America-san! So this is where you were! It’s almost time to cut the cake, so you should be heading back to the great hall-
America: Japan, just look at this!! It’s the present I got from England!
Japan: A Jack-in-the-box? This is a really classic one! How England-like!
America: “Classic”? It’s junky! And ghetto! I was so stupid to think better of him.
Japan: *chuckles* But it’s just a dummy gift.
America: Huh?
Japan: Look, there’s a paper bag behind it.
America: Ah… you’re right.
Japan: How witty. it’s just like England-san to do something like this.
America: He…
Japan: Well, America-san, everyone’s waiting now.
America: Ah… Yeah!
*door opens*
France: Oh, the main host is back.
Lithuania: We’ve prepared everything for the cake!
Russia: With hot Russian tea, naturally!
Austria: I’m sorry I’m late, America.
America: Austria! Thank you for coming so far!
Austria: I’d like to play a song for you as a present later, to celebrate the occasion.
America: A live performance of yours? I’ve always wanted to hear it!
England: H-hey…
America: What is it, England? Haven’t you already left?
England: N-no, Italy found me and dragged me back here. If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave.
America: That’s not true at all! Please stay.
England: Well, I would like to hear Austria playing the piano.
Germany: Alright. Now that everyone has gathered, let’s do it again!
Italy: Happy birthday, America!
Everyone: Happy birthday!!
*sounds of clinking glasses and party poppers as everyone converses*