Japan: Igirisu-san has caught a cold. As the season changes with time and sakura in full bloom, it is the waking of spring, Though I want to say that, it seems that in the world outside, a severe cold is spreading rapidly.
England: My head hurts. *cough* It could be because I accompanied the Kappa for too long and got it.
Japan: Excuse me. Igirisu-san, how are you feeling?
England: Ah, Nihon. It seems like since this morning, it’s been getting worse. *cough*
Japan: Ah! Please do not push yourself. First and foremost, please drink some hot water. (Or soup. Not sure what “saiyuu” is.)
England: Sorry about this. I came to your house especially to play, but I caught a cold instead.
Japan: Please do not worry about it. The most important thing now is that you rest well.
England: Eh! Nihon, if you stay by my side, you will catch my cold too.
Japan: Thank you for your concern; rather than worrying about me, please worry more for yourself. I will be bringing the medicine over now.
England: Sorry to trouble you for so many things. Although we are of the same alliance, to cause you so much trouble is… *cough*
Japan: It seems like a cold is spreading elsewhere too, so it is best not to drop our guard. Also, when one is sick, we are all in the same position. For now, please understand it.
England: Nihon… I am so glad I formed an alliance with you.
Japan: I am most glad for your kind words.
Japan: Though I say that, how do they cure colds on their side? Put a spring onion into the throat, prepare a ginger drink, rub salt on the stomach… ah, I should ask Furansu-san, who seems the closest of all the European countries. (I think Japan means it both in distance emotionally and geographically in regard to England)
*Phone ring*
Japan: [Greeting] (is that French?) Ah, sorry to bother you in your busiest time, but this is Nihon speaking, may I ask if Furansu san is in?
France: Ah~~ moshi moshi. What’s wrong, Nihon?
Japan: Is this Furansu-san? It has been a long time, this is Nihon. I am very sorry but it seems like Igirisu-san is down with a cold. Eh? No, he is currently resting at my place. Huh? Coming? Who? Eh? Furansu-san is? Yes, I understand. I will be waiting for your arrival・
Furansu-san has not recovered from his cold as well. To come here all the way here, will it be fine?
America: GOOD MORNING, NIhon!!! I’m HUNGRY!!
Japan: Good morning, Amerika-san. Today’s meal will be brown rice, miso soup and stir fried “something” (I think it is potato). Accompanying them is sesame tofu and sashimi (hourensou no sashimi. spinach + sashimi? Which sounds very weird so I left out ‘hourensou’).
America: Ah~~ Nihon is really thoughtful. I stopped over suddenly yesterday night but you still prepared a room for me.
Japan: Amerika-san came by a plane and destroyed the front door. It was a tough job to repair it. Igirisu-san was running around the house the whole night. (Sounds like Japan is complaining about the nuclear bombs and WWII)
America: AHAHAHAHA!!! By the way, how do you find the new plane? The design is good and environmentally friendly to use.
Japan: Regarding that, most of the parts are designed by me. (Now Japan’s complaining about the Korean War, isn’t he?)
America: Don’t fret about the details!!! For England’s case, we should make him see a doctor already. In that way, it won’t turn better. It has always been like this since the past.
Japan: I see. I will think about it.
America: Oh yes!! How about hamburgers for lunch?!!
Japan: I see. I will take care of it.
America: Ah~~ that is all you have been saying. By the way, what is wrong with Igirisu? I haven’t seen him since morning.
Japan: He doesn’t seem to be feeling well, so for today, please do not disturb him
America: EH!!!! That’s boring!! That’s boring!!! Just when all three of us are here, I brought over a racing game of someone in a red cap especially to play together!!
Japan: When he recovered, we can play again. Let’s have our meals, shall we?
America: YOSH!! Food!! Food!! Nihon’s meals are best for my diet.
Japan: Thank you very much. There will be extras; please eat as much as you can.
***
England: *cough* Noon has passed. Seems like I am feeling colder as well.
*door opens*
France: I~Gi~Ri~Su~ Oh my, you caught a cold?
England: Why are you here?
France: That’s because I received a hot and lovely call from Nihon.
England: What? *cough*
France: Though I said that, ‘hot’ is a joke. He called my house asking for European remedies to a cold. Nice, you do have a caring ally with you. Ah! It seems like cold can repel.
England: *cough*
France: Seems like you have caught it pretty badly. HAHAHAHA!! Serves you right~~ Retribution has caught up with you.
England: You… go home, stupid.
France: Oi! Igirisu, you are not going to retaliate as usual?
England: *groan*
France: Eh! He’s not responding as well. Oi! Are you really okay?
England: Hmm…
France: EHH~~~ is it really this bad? Wait!
England: That wine bastard・why did Nihon do such an unnecessary thing?
France: Here. Hot wine. It will make you feel warmer. Then, with a little bit of hot water, some honey and lemon in ….. Then “something” as well (rouchatou wa nani ya), done! Here, drink this too.
England: Hmmm… Furansu, I’m fine. Just go over there, you idiot.
France: I am relieved; it’s the usual Igirisu.
England: You will catch my cold too.
France: EHHH!!! Igirisu caught a strange virus!!!
England: If you are so near me, it will get worse.
France: SUCH AN OBEDIENT ENGLAND IS NOT ENGLAND!!!
England: *cough*
France: Seems like he is really weak. *sigh* Guess I will look after you until you are fully recovered.
Japan: Pardon my intrusion. Furansu-san, how is Igirisu-san doing?
France: It doesn’t work. His fever is refusing to drop.
Japan: I see. I am sorry that Furansu-san has to visit when you are not feeling well too.
France: It’s fine. If this guy does not recover soon, I won’t get my energy back either. Well, we have known each other with some sort of relationship since the Norman days.
Japan: I see. Here is the medicine. I will bring over the hot water soon. Until then, please watch over Igirisu-san. I will return soon, so until then・
France: You are fortunate that you fell sick in Nihon’s house, as you are being looked after by him so well. Speaking of it, if you were ever this obedient, you’d be rather cute.
England: …Shut up…
France: You always snap the moment you see my face. If you could be quieter…. Yosh! Let’s do it while I have the chance. Like this… heh heh… (What is France seriously intending to do?)
*Door opens*
America: Igirisu!! I made a new airplane!!
France: Tsk! What is it? It was such a good moment.
America: Ya! Furansu! What is Igirisu doing?
France: One look and you will know. It is a cold. He is sleeping because of it and it is not dropping.
America: AH!! That’s all? So that’s what you meant by a cold. If that is so, I have a way to cure it right away!!
France: If it is you, it might not be any good method, but never mind. Just tell me.
America: Just put this on the head!!!
France: It’s… a hamburger…
America: Although Nihon is the one who made it, but it can’t be helped, so this will do.
England: Eh…
America: WHY?! IT’S NOT WORKING AT ALL!!
France: Of course!! Why a hamburger to the forehead…
America: If it were me, just doing this would cure me in a shot.
France: Don’t put yourself and Igirisu in the same shoes. Ah~~~ enough….it is idiotic of me to ask you so seriously. Ah~~ Igirisu’s forehead is all dirty now.
America: Na~~ Furansu, there is something I want to ask though. What is a cold?
France (‘Heheh’ behind) Eh… you….
America: What’s wrong? Making such a weird face.
France: BACK OFF!
America: EH!!!! WHY?!!! IT IS SO RARE, EVERYONE IS IN Nihon’s HOUSE NOW. I WAS THINKING WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER!!
France: In the current situation, only you can react like this. You are amazing; I as your older brother am shocked!
America: Ya!! Thanks for complimenting me, it’s embarassing.
France: No one is complimenting you.
England: You idiots… when I am suffering so much from the cold, you people dare to make so much noise here…
France: Igirisu… your face looks ugly-er, I meant you don’t look so well. Here, it’s best you don’t sit up.
England: Shut up! Enough! Just take your things and get out.
America: HAHAHAHA!!! Look!! He is so energetic after using the hamburger.
England: SHUT UP!! YOU OVERWEIGHT BASTARD!! WHEN I AM WITH YOU, MY COLD WILL JUST GET WORSE!!
France: Na~~ Igirisu. It’s not my fault.
England: YOU TOO!! YOU STINKY WINE BASTARD!! GET OUT RIGHT THIS SECOND!!! *cough*
France: Ah! Igirisu! Really. It’s because you raised your voice while you are sick, it became like this.
England: *cough* Get out.
France: Yes, yes. I get the point. I will bring wine over now.
America: If that is so, coke is better. It’s my fuel.
France: Then, I will make you drink large amount of white and red wine. By tradition, it will make your fever go down.
America: If that’s so, I will make you eat a lot of cheeseburgers, fish burgers, meat burgers and chicken burgers. Even if you are down with a fever and no matter what kind of illness you have, it will cure you. (Seriously, what are these two competing for?)
England: Eh…. seriously, back off already, idiot!
***
Japan; And so after a few days, Igirisu-san is cured miraculously with the remedies of many countries. A few more days after that, Igirisu-san visited the house of Amerika-san, who is down with a cold as well.
*doorbell*
America: *sneeze* On top of a fever and runny nose, my throat and head hurts, so who is it? Ya… Igirisu… Isn’t it rare for you to come to my house?
England: Yo, Amerika. I came to visit you.
America: Visit? EH!! You… what is it that you are holding in your hands?
England: I got better with your hamburger, so I thought I shall do the same and make you feel better with my homemade cooking as well.
America: Eek!! Your thoughts themselves are enough!! So why don’t you put that strange dishes of yours aside? Oh yes, how about giving it to Furansu as a present?
England: Don’t be reserved. Here~~
America: N-no…d-don’t come near!! Really!! Just spare me from Igirisu’s *beep* dishes…
England: Wait!! Don’t you dare call my cooking poisonous *beep* dishes!
America: No matter how you look at it, it has a strange color!! How can you call that cooking?!
England: Rather than the look, it should be the taste that concerns. STOP!!
America: THE TASTE IS THE WORSE AS WELL, AND IN ADDITION, MY COLD IS CURED TOO, SO IT’S FINE ALREADY, ISN’T IT?
England: It is not good at all!! When I am sick, all you do is get in the way!!! YOU BRAT!! STOP RUNNING!!! WAIT!!
America: NO!!!
England: I TOLD YOU TO WAIT!!!
America: NO!… *fade*