- Based on “Axis Powers Jokes”
- Rough Translation by: Nosuri
- Gaia Online
SCENE I
S.Italy: Finally he let me get back home… That b*****d England… Hey Veneziano! What are you doing?
N.Italy: Yeah! I’m making a poster to be closer to Germany! If I make it really good, the people and Germany will be impressed!
S.Italy: Ha. Do as you wish. I know nothing.
N.Italy: Ooo~k! I’ll do it! *scribble scribble* Hmm. I just started drawing, but I can’t think of anything good…
Japan: Good morning, Italy-kun. Oh, you look rather depressed. What’s the matter?
N.Italy: Hmm, Japan. Well, it’s about the design of the poster I wanted to put up. I can’t think of anything.
Japan: Eh? A poster? What kind of poster?
N.Italy: It’s like this… Like “I wanna be closer to you” but…
Japan: I see. If it is about that, there is a good design which is used in my house.
N.Italy: Really?
Japan: Yeah. Let me borrow a piece of paper and a brush. You do like this, draw a heart, and under that you draw an umbrella. Under that you write your names. How is it?
N.Italy: Grazie Japan~! So, I’ll go show it to Germany right now!
Japan: Eh? …Show it to… Germany?
SCENE II
Germany: Ah, I’ve been working on paper work all day, my shoulders are stiff.
N.Italy: Germany~! Germany~!
Germany: What is it, Italy? Suddenly bursting in other people’s houses…
Italy: Hey, hey Germany! I made a poster of you, can I put it up?
Germany: Heh. You took the trouble of making it… Well, I don’t mind.
Italy: Yay~!
Germany: So this is the poster…? Let me see… !! WH…WHAT IS THIS POSTER!?
Italy: “What”? It’s your poster! Japan thought about the design.
Germany: W-W-WHY ARE THERE MY NAME AND YOUR NAME UNDER A HEART SHAPE?
Italy: Veh… That’s the sign of our friendship!
Germany: More than that, “Germany will protect Italy” !? Instead of counting always on me, DO SOMETHING YOURSELF from the start!
Italy: Veh… You… you won’t be protecting me?
Germany: Withdraw it, withdraw it! Don’t put up this thing!
Italy: Ve~h…
SCENE III
N.Italy: But I really did my best…
S.Italy: You’ve been so noisy for a while, Veneziano! You can’t sleep? What’s the matter?
N.Italy: When I made the friendship poster for Germany, he said I couldn’t put it up…
S.Italy: What? You made it for real? But first, THAT POTATO HATES YOU, DOESN’T HE!
N.Italy: EH!? Such thing… Ah… What? When I remember, I’ve got only memories of him being angry at me…
***
Germany: Are you ready? Today I’ll teach you how to use grenades. Firstly you take the pin off, so that it ignites. Then, you throw it on enemy’s grounds! That’s the sequence, can you do it?
N.Italy: Yeah, I got it! If that’s it, I can do it if I do my best!
Germany: Hn. Hey, don’t throw it this w… Hm?
Italy: Ve~~~~h
Germany: EH- ITALY!! IT’S THE OPPOSITE! THE OPPOSITE! YOU DON’T THROW THE PIN, BUT THAT ONE… AHHH DON’T KEEP IT, RUUUN!
***
That time he punched me…
You never know when my grenades are going to explode, so it was safe though… Ah! Maybe, he’s tired of me! What should I do, niichan?
S.Italy: Hmmm~ Pastahh~
N.Italy: He’s already sleeping, it can’t be helped. Well for now, I’ll just go ask Germany directly!
SCENE IV
Switzerland: Looking at the moon with a drink is not a bad thing… Well, that’s because my landscapes are wonderful… If you pay attention, you can hear the sound of the trees…
N.Italy: Germany~, Germany~
Switzerland: ITALY, YOU AGAIN!?
N.Italy: !! Swiss… Just for today, let me pass!
Switzerland: Today of all days I won’t allow it! I can’t forgive you always passing through my territory naked!
N.Italy: I’m sorry~! But passing from your house is easier when I want to go to Germany’s house, ve~h!
Switzerland: HEY, WAIT! ITALYYYYY!
France: Hmm. Having a drink while looking at the moon like this, it’s good…
N.Italy: So~rry~
France: ? What?
Switzerland: I’M KILLING YOU! I’LL KILL YOU!
N.Italy: I’m sorry~! Forgive me~!
France: Italy… Though oniisan told you that Switzerland is really bad…
SCENE V
Germany: Huff. Today I had so much work. I’ll go to sleep right away.
N.Italy: Ge…Germany! Gaaah! Ge…Germany… Do you like me?
Germany: Wh… Wa… H-Hey, wh… EEH!?
N.Italy: So? Do you like me? Do you hate me? Which one?
Germany: C-C-Calm down! Now, get off me! Then take a deep breath.
N.Italy: Th…That… What do you think about me? But… I always put you in troubles, and you didn’t like the poster, and…
Germany: Ah. You were worried about that?
N. Italy: I’ve always thought you and I were friends, but… maybe you don’t…
Germany: But why, I… I… It’s not that I hate you…
N.Italy: Really? I’m so happy! That’s good… It was only my imagination. So, I can put up this poster…
Germany: Don’t jump to conclusions! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…
N.Italy: Ahhh! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Stop please! STOP! I won’t do that… I WON’T DO IT SO STOP!
Germany: If you understood, then go home! And wait there.
N.Italy: Yes sir! [Now he starts speaking very formally, but I’m not good with this so I’ll just avoid abbreviations]
I have a request!
Germany: What? Say it.
N.Italy: Ehm… Ehm… I would like to hear you say you do not hate me more clearly! If you do this I will go home!
Germany: What are you saying!?
N.Italy: So… As I thought… The only one who thinks we’re friends was me, after all…
Germany: Gaah, don’t start crying! I’m not as good as you are with saying this kind of things… Ah… Like that… “I like you”…
N.Italy: Is it true? I am happy!
Germany: If you understood, go home now!
N.Italy: When I will be satisfied I will go home! I would like you to say that again!
Germany: Don’t change the conditions!
SCENE VI
Japan: I came here to borrow some oil, but because of the difference in time zones, it’s already late night here… Maybe they would still be awake… Hm?
N.Italy: I want to be closer to you, so we’re friends?
Germany: That’s why… [superspeed!] ILIKEYOU! Well… now it’s ok?
N.Italy: One more time please!
Germany: YOU—!!
N.Italy: One more time!! One more time!!
Japan: What… I can’t imagine the situation…
Germany: Heeh I like you… Are you satisfied with this?
N.Italy: Yahoo! I love you too!
Germany: Calm down, you idiot!
N.Italy: Germany! Watch out! Gweeeeeh~
Japan: This… Are you ok? What happ… ened…
N.Italy: Ah, Japan! I made it! I got closer to Germany!
Japan: I-In this situation… you got closer…?
N.Italy: Yeah! Closer, closer!
Germany: DON’T SAY THINGS THAT CAN BE MISUNDERSTOOD!