Japan: We’ve now arrived at the final question. The questions we received reads, “Who is China-san’s favorite character in The Annals of the Three Kingdoms?”
China: That’s obvious! Guan Yu! Guan Yu! Guan Yu! It’s Guan Yu!!
Japan: Why did you say it all cool the last time?
China: I’ve got the movie! Red Cliff isn’t the only movie version of The Three Kingdoms. There’s this one, and that one there, that’s an interesting one. And here’s a little-known gem! I’ll wrap them all up and give you a good price on them, so go ahead and choose 100 of them!
Germany: Don’t go selling that junk on school grounds!
China: I’ll give you my lowest price and throw in some video CDs-hey! Quit shutting down my business!
Germany: We’re all clear on the question about The Three Kingdoms. We just have one more request: “Investigate the panda that China always carries around on his back.”
China: Ah, this little guy. I never seem to notice him until he’s already back there. I’m not sure why, but all of them want to climb into my pack, so it’s not always the same one. That’s why they appear to vary in size.
Italy: Wow, so cute!
China: Sometimes I get freaked out because a fluorescent pink one will crawl in there. I really wish they wouldn’t.
Japan: Fluorescent pink, you say?!
China: That’s right! They’re all pink when they’re first born, but that’s because they’re bald.
Japan: You mean that color occurs naturally?!
China: Actually the pink ones are better. Sometimes pandas that are like Predators get in there. Even though it’s invisible, it has the same weight and feel as a regular panda. I laughed so hard the first time I saw one, though you can’t really see them.
Japan: It’s camouflaged?!
Germany: And all you did when faced with that was laugh?
China: If you’re going to be surprised by something small like that, you won’t be able to survive at my place. Watermelons, money, perverts and stuff like that explode, there are girls who show up naked in temple ruins insisting that they’re cosplaying and old ladies who rock climb on the Great Wall. Lately I’ve had to worry about the pandas and ryofu stalking me.
Japan: This is amazing. That statement was full of nothing but places to butt in with witty retorts.
Italy: Hey everyone, look at this! There’s a triangle-eared, long-tailed panda over here!
Germany: That’s a cat. I see. Thanks, China.
Man: China!!! This is terrible!!
China: What happened?
Man: Oh, it’s awful! The ryofu have taken over your house!
China: The ryofu again?! Why’re they so set on stealing my house?! Sorry, but I’ve gotta run!
Japan: Ah, thank you very much… Huh, I had no idea that the ryofu were still around.
Germany: And that they would target someone’s house while they were out… China’s an incredible place.
Italy: This panda’s so cute.
Germany: It’s a cat.
Narrator: By the way, the ryofu is a large group of stray cats living around China’s house.