W Academy Story: Advancing Very Little! W Academy Newspaper Club – Track 04 “The Truth Behind the Rumors”

Japan: Next up is England-san. It says, “I heard that England-san’s hobby is embroidery. I thought that if a person like him were to do such delicate work, he might pull a Wuthering Heights from stress Please find out whether it’s true.”

Germany: What do they mean by “pull a Wuthering Heights from stress”?

Japan: England-san is quite sensitive, you know. I’ve heard that he cuddles his teddy bear while reading Wordsworth in bed.

Italy: Are you sure? I bet he goes to bed wearing spiked bracelets and a spiked collar, listening to hard rock while holding a large collection of supernatural items in one hand and head-banging with some hell raisers.

Germany: He’d end up stabbing himself if he tried that.

Italy: He sure would.

Japan: Ah, Germany-san! It seems that the student council meeting has adjourned!

Germany: There he is. Oi, England! Can we have a moment?!

England: Ugh, Germany!

Germany: There’s something we wanted to ask you.

England: Wh-what is it? If this is about the EU, I’m gonna make my escape with this parachute!

Germany: You don’t have be so evasive! It’s nothing to do with that. We just wanted to ask you something.

England: Heh, just wanna ask me something, do you? You’re probably hiding something!

Italy: It’s not like that! Don’t worry! It’s just for the newspaper club!

Japan: Our intention is to collect answers for a series of questions sent in by readers.

England: Nngh… Well, I suppose that’s alright. I’m not answering any strange questions, though.

Germany: I see. That’s a big help. In that case, we can interview you right here in the hallway. It seems that there’s a rumor about you enjoying embroidery and we were asked to find out whether it was true.

England: What, is that it?

Germany: Sorry to have to bother you with this question, or rather rumor confirmation. If it’s not true, you can just say it’s not true and we’ll be on our way. The reader wondered if that kind of activity might cause you to “pull a Wuthering Heights from stress.”

England: What the hell does that mean? But I guess I do feel kind of Wuthering Height-ish when the threads get all tangled.

Germany: Huh? S-so it’s true?

England: Mm? You’re talking about embroidery, right? Sure I do.

Italy: Eeeeeeh?! You do?!

England: What, didn’t you hear me? I just said I do.

Japan: In other words, the rumor is true?

England: What do you mean, “rumor”? My embroidery is a work of art. I wouldn’t even mind if you did a front page article featuring my needlework. If you insist, I could describe the process to you from the first to the 215th step. But good lord, to think that my embroider has become so well-known as to have rumors circulating about it…

Italy: Awawawa… so he’s not a hell-raiser… England really does do embroidery.

Germany: I guess this is what they mean when they say that the truth can be stranger than fiction.

England: Hold it, you lot! Just what kind of bloke do you think I am, anyway?!

Italy: Ve… I was sure you wore spiked bracelets and a spiked collar, listening to hard rock while holding a large collection of supernatural items in one hand and head-banging with some hell raisers, occasionally shouting out “ya-ha” in strange voices…

England: Who does that?! That sounds like the type of bloke you’d want to stay far away from, or rather, the type you should stay far away from if you don’t want to get stabbed. So the rumor is true. Are you satisfied?

Germany: I see… I never would’ve guessed…

Italy: Abababababa…

Japan: That’s awfully rude, you two. There’s nothing wrong with the fact that England-san does embroidery, or writes poems that he never shows anyone, or sleeps with a teddy bear. And recently he had a premonition that a bridge was going to collapse, so he saved his colleagues from the bus. But those colleagues began to meet mysterious deaths in the order in which they had been seated on the bus. And on top of that, one of the colleagues that he saved frequently tried to take him out.

England: Hold on! Where did you hear all that?! The second half of that story seems to have been thrown in from another source.

Italy: Waaah, I wanna read the poems England wrote! I love poetry!

England: Don’t latch on to that detail!

Germany: I guess you’ve got an unexpectedly sensitive and romantic streak.

England: Shut up. So I do embroidery. That’s my final answer.

Japan: Thank you for your answer, England-san. I think we’ll be able to write a good article.

England: Right, right. Finally you’re getting it. Now then, I’ll proceed to harass you by sending you emails of my 3 gigabytes worth of photos of my embroidery works in a series of 12 megabyte attachments, so make sure you’ve got some disk space open, newspaper club. *Smirk smirk*

Germany: Sorry, but our clubroom’s computer has a maximum capacity of only 100 megabytes.

England: Just how many decades old is the bloody thing?!

Italy: Our computer’s brand new! And our TV’s one of the CRT ones with the strange wire things on top!

England: Are you taking the mickey?! You call that new!?

Japan: Don’t worry, I bring a new computer with me to do my work on.