US: It’s the XX day of OO month, and I’m reporting from the World Conference. Recently, the number of people who are unable to sleep has been increasing worldwide and today’s topic of discussion will be about how to solve this problem of insomnia. The meeting has already begun, and it’s about time for the Hero to bring forth an awesome plan!
UK: Switzerland, I can hear you. What do you mean by ‘suspicious methods’? I’ve got a lot of experience in black magic. Well, I’ve never had trouble sleeping, but you know anybody can use magic. It’s pretty easy to use it for practical means.
US: Are you making up stories again? Man, England, you really have weird delusions-
UK: They’re not delusions! Okay? Magic is a traditional-
US: MORE IMPORTANTLY, you guys should definitely listen to what I have to say. Everyone, I have the PERFECT way to fall blissfully asleep.
UK: …and what would that be?
US: We make a huge robot and then have it rock the earth like a cradle! That way, everyone will-
UK: Absolutely not! You are not some brat with ridiculous dreams, be an adult and think of something normal!
US: WHAT!? That’s so rude! Do you have a better idea!?
UK: Oh, yes, well… How about counting sheep when your having trouble falling asleep?
US: Uugh… I can smell the old in that idea.
UK: It’s called traditional.
US: I suppose, it works so well it’s pretty much a natural solution for everyone, but… Why do we count sheep? Is there some sort of hidden meaning behind counting sheep?
UK: Oh, yes, there is an explanation for that. America, try saying ‘hitsuji’ in English.*
US: SHEEP, right?
UK: And ‘nemuri’?
US: SLEEP, obviously!
UK: Okay, so try saying them both in English.
US: Sheep, sleep. Sheep, sleep. Seep, sleep. Sleep, sleep- OH! They sound the same!
UK: I know, right!? In English speaking countries, they say the history of counting sheep to help you sleep is based on the fact that the pronunciation of ‘sheep’ and ‘sleep’ are so close! Or so they say.
US: Eh! Eeh!? Eeeeh!? I didn’t know that!
UK: Well, there’s also the explanation that doing or saying something repetitively will lull you to sleep, sheep or not.
US: What!? And the first explanation was so interesting! That’s kind of a disappointment.
UK: Old stories are kind of like that, handed down for so long like they are. It’s not like we can get proof that the first explanation is true or not. Rather than dwell on the basis of the myth, isn’t it more important that it works? It’s been like that forever.
US: Hmm, well… I don’t really feel enlightened or anything…
UK: Anyway, our colleagues have suggested many other things, and I’m sure they have their reasons. The important part is finding one that works for you, and the fact that you believe in that one is-
US: AAH! WAIT, WAIT ENGLAND! Stop wrapping stuff up like that! I’m the chairman here!
UK: Fine, fine! Jesus… Well, go on, make your conclusion.
US: Ahem. In conclusion, we’ve talked about a bunch of solutions here today. I’m sure if you try them out, you’ll find one that works for you! And if you find one, share it with those nations you are close to. The important part is believing! If you believe in it, you can definitely do it! You’ll be a-okay! YES. WE. CAN. With everyone in the world facing this sleepy problem head on, we can conclude our meeting! GOOD NIGHT.
[T/N: *The ‘sheep-sleep’ pronunciation explanation was a little weird if both sides were in English, so you get a little Japanese lesson as well. :3]