General Winter


■Russia and General Winter■

I wanted to draw General Winter after seeing Naka-san’s popular Japan-chan site. Russia has been saved by General Winter many times in the past, hasn’t he? But unfortunately he also ends up being attacked by him every year. (LOL)

■They don’t get along, but they have fought together many a time.■

■Yeah, it stands out■

If you can read my writing, you have too much time on your hands.

“War movies around the world”

Japanese War Movies
Wistfully express the tragedy of war.

Chinese War Movies
Nothing but people being picked on horribly.

English War Movies
You feel like it’s just showing a timeline of events on film

French War Movies
Nothing but scenes in gorgeous settings with dialogue
like poetry and lovely background music.
However, the presentation is so surreal I can’t understand it.

American War Movies
They are fighting the Russians when suddenly aliens attack,
so then they band together with the Russians to exterminate the aliens.

Italian War Movies
Go to Germany, do it with a German girl.
Go to fight in Greece, do it with a Greek girl.
Go to fight in Russia, do it with a Russian girl.


 

Translation: gomidog
Original Translated Version | Original

Reduce your opponent’s willpower American-style


■ Step on Japan’s Will ■

This is America’s Red Fuji Legend (・∀・)
Their will to actually push through with it was American Quality.

■ Step on Russia’s Will ■

During the Cold War, America gave out XL-sized condoms to Russia
so that the citizens would lose their confidence.
I love the legend of Russia’s returned goods being too small.


By the way, for America, as long as it’s “FOR JUSTICE”, he’ll do ANYTHING!!


 

Translation: hwoosh, kazeyumi
Original Translated Version | Original

2009 Christmas Backlog



■Missing Santas■

Hyvää joulua!
In Finnish, Santa Claus
is called Mr. Joulupukki.

Santa’s in the process of visiting all the countries around the world!
The American and Canadian armies are tracking them now!

 

■For Some Reason, These Three as Santas■

You see these when you go to grandma’s house or a hot-springs resort.


 

Translation: pialet, voyaaage, hagane-no-mame, nice-babana, rinrin0
Original Translated Version | Original

Christmas Comics Summary


■Asian and Western Festivals■

 

■Christmas Doodles■

 

Part 1 “Pumpkin Panties”

 

Part 2 “Red Panties”

Everyone’s Own Christmas:

Japan: Called to attend America’s party out of obligation.

England: Called to attend America’s party out of obligation.
Brought a Christmas tree to show off with, but because
America’s was so huge and impressive, he ended up crying.

France: Went to the party at America’s place to eat and
drink and take girls home.

Russia: Spent the day in a dignified manner.

China: Cried.
 

Translation: pomgrenadier, panjapanja
Original Translated Version: 1, 2, 3 | Original

VS Italy


■Japan VS Italy

■Full body drawing practice■

For now, Japan, good luck escaping.

■Germany VS Italy

■Greeting a German■

A thick wall of 8cm.

[T/N: young German men don’t, in fact, give good morning Kusschen to each other.]


Speaking of, you greet people with kisses even in Germany.
Recently, I received a German-style kiss from a German woman.
(He’s said to kiss the right and left cheek one time each.)
It’s also common for the elderly to shake hands in Germany.
Yeeeaaah I’m still a know-nothing about foreign culture.

If you compare Germans and Italians,
Germans seem to be more formal don’t they?
Italians are like I want to huuuuuuug I want to kiiiiiiiiiss!
And come up to you clinging.

By the way, Italians kiss the left and right cheek.
The French kiss for a long 4~5 times.

■France VS Italy


Paris’ art galleries are full of paintings and artifacts from Italy.
No doubt, Italy is known for their great artists.


Hawawa! Master, the enemies are here!
During the middle ages, Italy was basically useless.
Because of that, foreign countries were pushing their political powers unto them.
During wars, Italy was used as a shield.
Hmm… something like Egypt’s kitten-shields.

It’s like Big Brother France is becoming more and more villainous.
Although, Chibitalia was trying to regain his honor during the latter part of the war.


 

Translation: unknown, tarafishes, desuraven, hwoosh, kazeyumi, jammerlea
Original Translated Version: 1, 2, 3 | Original

A lot of France


■Big Brother France and That Kid


Jeanne d’Arc and France.
(In the future I’ll add a link for the story of Miss Jeanne and Mr France.)


By the way, I pondered if I should use the actual people in Hetalia
but I decided to use vague expressions such as “boss” or “that girl.”

Countries and people are somehow co-existing.

 


Now that I think about it,
until Napoleon mentioned about Jeanne d’Arc,
he totally forgot about her.
Bad guy…


↑England somehow always ends up with the role as a villain.
In the movies and novels related to Jeanne d’Arc, he is treated like a demon. In movies, villains are usually played by the Brits.
Do your best, England.


Yup. Do your best, England.


 

Translation: jammerlea, algidwind
Original Translated Version: 1, 2 | Original

Hetare 5: Lietuvis!!



During WWII, some soldiers in the American forces got too spirited
upon getting ice cream that they ended up
breaking their bones and had to be shipped home.

And, now that I think of it, it seems that American
battleships were fitted with ice-cream machines.
Doesn’t that sound like somebody else we know?

BTW – during the war, the American soldiers stationed in Britain
seemed to have been smash hits with the local lasses.
Of course, they were cool and cheerful and hunky and all that,
but the thing was—they were rich.

At the time, Britain was virtually broke—townsfolk couldn’t get
their hands on winter stockings, let alone candies.
But here came the American troops who, not suffering greatly from
food or supply shortages, gave whatever they got to the local girls.

Unsurprisingly, they became the next Joe Sexy.

Since it was allegedly pretty easy, there came a parade of American
soldiers who worked soulfully to get girls via chocolate or stockings.
Apparently, an order from the British side to ‘keep your
supplies to yourself and family!’ came out rather fast.

[T/N: Minami-Centrair – an attempted 2005 merger between the Mihama and
Minamichita townships in the Aichi prefecture. Apparently furor after the name
(which was shoehorned in by the town council) caused the merger to stall, though
I don’t know any more details. The name Minami-Centrair came from the nearby airport.]

The country that grew most peevish at Germany and
Russia’s increasingly good relations was Japan.
Declaring that ‘the ways of the West are too inscrutable!’,
the entire Japanese cabinet resigned.

To the “Why did they resign over that!?” Europeans,
however, Japan’s actions were the most inscrutable of all…


Russia and Japan in the Russo-Japanese War.

Although Japan made its name known to the world
by crushing Russia in this conflict,
Japan had fought with everything it had.
In contrast, Russia had only brought out its regional troops
and still had oh so much resources to spare.


Thanks to this quarrel with Russia,
Japan used up five years’ worth of living expenses.
Fight on, Japan, fight.


The favourite war trophy among Russian troops appears to be the common water faucet.
“Awesome! Instantaneous water everywhere!”, indeed.
Long live Russian soldiers! (*´∀`*)

Russia partitioned Poland WAY too often.


Thus spake Mr. Lithuania, who, along with Poland,
had once beaten Germany’s family member to a pulp.


Q : How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb?

A : Three. One to put the lightbulb in,
two to turn whatever the first is standing on.

And thus came the eventually useless
Polish-British Common Defence Pact and the
Franco-Polish Military Alliance.

By the way, Poland at the time was confident that it could
drive Germany out by it self, and planned to totally
do so and, like, go on an offensive to boot~
…or something along the lines.
Poland was awesome. Yes, he was.

■Nagoya-ben (Valley Girl) and Poland■

That’s like, totally unreal!
It’s so so impossible!
Like, seriously! But whatever,
I totally need to pee like right
now. Seriously to the max.


 

Translation: equivalent-t, aphonetie, jammerlea
Original Translated Version | Original

Chibitalia



■ Chibitalia, Holy Roman Empire and France ■

Although he dubbed himself the Holy Roman Empire out of adulation for the Roman Empire,
the Holy Roman Empire was not Rome.
It appears he went around stalking Italy and making
ambiguous “Won’t you join me?” threats *laughs*.
His dream was to create a unified Holy Roman kingdom made of Italian and German people.

Feeling quite scandalized by the matter,
France and Spain would often call out “Stop making passes at Italy!”
Though, it wouldn’t be the Holy Roman Empire if he listened.

■ Before Italy became the bullied boy ■

After the fall of Rome, Italy became a collection of small city-states.

You could find everything in Italy back then.
Fertile lands, beautiful climate, magnificent culture,
history, art, trade, religion…
it was a completely enchanting place to be.

But it was WEAK.
It was weak even from this era.

From the eyes of the other countries, there’s no better trophy in the world. Beginning with France’s advance, the rest of the stronger countries began converging to pluck their own piece of Italy.

■ The Strongest Bully Appears ■

“All right, Italy is mine!”

Thus France resolved to begin his Italian invasion campaign.
Though he said he’d go help putting down troubles in Milan, he
went straight to conquer Florence and Naples.


Though he ended up going broke halfway and got stuck in
strange places, showing his own brand of uselessness
(though France’s wallet was in such a state that it’d burst if he so much as farted, anyway) we still think Italy was even more useless than him.


He had absolutely nothing prepared.
And he already knew it months in advance…
Therefore, things went downhill from beaten→surrender rapidly.

Italy was already Italy since this time period.

 

■ Why was Big Brother so anxious? ■

A little while ago, Austria (Habsburg rule) started
to swagger about in the Holy Roman household.
Austria’s plans had already netted him Spain,
so France suddenly got stuck in the middle.

[T/N : This is when Habsburg kings ruled both Austria and Spain, via marriage plans.]


Feeling antsy, France decided to take over the unspoiled
Northern Italy. The Holy Roman Empire and Spain had a few
things to say about that, however, and they began their own moves.
That was how the great war for Italian domination started…

 



■ Mr. Austria ■
An aristocratic intelligentsia who not only
busied himself with Italy,
but also controlled the Holy Roman Empire.
Loves music more than anything.

■ The Italian War ■

A war that turned the entirety of Italy into a bloodbath.
Lynched on by countries from all over,
Italy is torn off piece by piece by the strong countries.

And after this, Italy’s harsh life as a servant began…



■ Italy, the Renaissance, and… ■
Since Italy had to cling to stronger countries to survive,
it was not a proper time for art.
This heralds the beginning of the end
for the magnificent Renaissance culture.

Italy would disappear from the stage of history for many centuries afterwards, and because he remained an underling for so long, he never got the chance to expand.

By the way, it looks like Italy never used
his army in this period, either. *laughs*


■ Mr. Austria’s glorious musical history ■

The Austrian throne poured a great deal of money into arts and music,
so they were able to gather and support the very best of musicians.

The Vienna Boys’ Choir is reputed to have been there since the 15th century.
T-that’s old…!

■ Italy and Mr. Austria ■

Italy did have a number of small rebellions throughout,
but they were quickly crushed by Austria’s military.


Well, it was his longtime dream.(*´∀`*)

Elsewhere, the elder Italy brother…

While Northern Italy was conquered by the Holy Roman Empire,
Spain managed to conquer the south.

Now that we mention it, maybe the reason South Italy has slow growth even now is because he spent too long a time under the laid back Spanish rule.
Since he didn’t have to do a thing by himself (heh, festa and siesta)
his main assets are still agricultural and tourism, like it was 1,000 years ago.

The Italian cheer also feels very Spanish, now that I think of it.


The Renaissance didn’t stop with Italy, but spread all over Europe.
The Holy Roman painter Albrecht Durer was famous, wasn’t he?

The Holy Roman Empire, beginning to copy Italy and start painting.



And so Chibitalia, the story of Italy’s childhood, comes to an end.
Italy’s history is full of invasion, isn’t it…?

After this, the Holy Roman Empire was embroiled in a tragic path with the Thirty Years’ War.
I’ll write something on this later.
France profited greatly from this fight.

 


 

Translation: equivalent-t, konkira
Original Translated Version | Original

Hetare 4: Pact of Steel 2



Italians have been an inconsistent people since forever. *laughs*
The North and the South never really got on all that well, but if you ask,

“Is there a strength difference because of the regions?”
In the First World War, Italian soldiers were conscripted from all parts of the country and distributed evenly among the army, but after WWI, they started making the units regional.

Still,
THE USELESSNESS NEVER CHANGED.

They really are HETARE!

Pendant

 

 

 

Although Poland and Lithuania used to be one country,
Lithuania was pretty much in the lackey position.
He was confounded by Poland’s many whims, apparently,
like “Speak Polish!” or “Live like me!”.

Poor, poor Lithuania…

 

 

 

 

Though Poland has the image of ‘the poor abused country stuck between Russia and Germany’ he actually has been destroyed many times and yet still rose back like a phoenix. In other words, he seems to actually be a tough, strong country.

Surprisingly, there were times when he’d won against Russia and Germany. The time he was with Lithuania was his golden age, where he and Lithuania the Lackey conquered and expanded across Eastern Europe.

Also, this is pointless, but I based Poland’s accent on Nagoya schoolgirls.

(T/N: In English this would be Valley Girl.)

 

 

 

 

 

 


Russia actually had traumatic memories of Poland and letters before.
In one of their wars, he grew to distrust his allies thanks
to Poland’s fake letters and caused massive unrest in the ranks,
at which point Poland swooped in and took Moscow.

 

He did get a very thorough revenge afterwards, though.

 

Speaking of Russia’s friends, I completely forgot this person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so, we have the Pact of Steel.
Although Lithuania said ‘Soviet’ singularly in the last panel,
please think of it as the USSR.



 

Translation: equivalent-t, konkira, hetamushitama, jammerlea
Original Translated Version | Original