W Academy Newspaper Club: Sports Festival Edition! – Track 5 “(言ω言)”

Germany: Now for a change of pace… Hmm? Looks like the next event is a scavenger hunt. I’m on photo duty for this event.

[T/N: The event can be literally translated as “item- borrowing race”. Items are written on slips in envelopes and picked up randomly. Participants can ask crowd members to lend them the item so that they can finish the race, or grab it from the nearest location that they know of and return it afterwards.]

Japan: As a Japanese man, I plan to give this everything I’ve got. I believe I have the most solid knowledge of etiquette when it comes to requesting things from people.

Prussia: Kesesese! I’m pretty confident in my speed! No way am I gonna let any of you losers beat me!

England: Running speed is the deciding factor in a scavenger hunt, right? I’ve built my leg strength with football, rugby and cricket. Underestimate me at your own risk!

Canada: Ah… I wonder if I can get anyone to notice me even if I call out to them…

Greece: Scavenger… hunt… The rest of you… can’t expect to have… the same level of knowledge as me… who borrows knowledge from… the gods…

Italy: Huh? What do you mean?

Japan: He must be referring to the Theory of Ideas. It was developed by the famous philosopher Socrates.

[T/N: The Theory of Ideas should actually be credited to Plato, not Socrates.]

Greece: Our current location… is the sports field, but… not all sports fields… look the same… So then how… does everyone know… that this is a sports field?

Prussia: Obviously because this is a sports field!

Greece: How does one know… that a cat… is a cat? Why is there a distinction… between a dog… and a fox? A fox is so similar to a dog… so how does one know… which is which?

Italy: Ahhh I have no idea! My head’s gonna explode! Help me, Japan!

Japan: I’m sorry. I think I may need to reach enlightenment before I can fully understand myself.

Germany: Never mind that! Just find your assigned items! I wish you luck. Everyone, to the start line!!

Announcer: On your marks! Get set…! *bang!*

Prussia: *takes off running* Kesesese! Borrowing something’ll be no sweat! First place is mineeee!

Japan: *panting* Please let there be something easy written on my slip…!

England: Alright, I’ll be taking this one… *picks up an envelope* What do we have here…?

Greece: In that case I’ll… *picks up an envelope* take this one…

Canada: I’ll just take the one that’s leftover. *picks up the envelope*

Prussia: What did I get…? *opens his envelope* Oho, well, well! Aww yeah! I drew a lucky one!!

Canada: Whaaaat? Where am I supposed to get something like this?!

England: A boulder?! When they say a boulder… What the heck?!

Greece: A desk… huh?

Japan: And mine says… *opens the envelope* well, well! I’ll just bring Italy-kun!

*everyone starts running off to get their items*

England: Wh—huh—you guys’re leaving already?! *wanders around* …Boulder… boulder… If it were just a stone, I could work with that! But where the heck am I supposed to find a boulder around here?! *crinkles the slip in anger* …Dammit! I picked the wrong slip! Wait a second… I see! I just have to bring a boulder, right? *runs over to Germany* Germany! Come with me, would you?!

Germany: Me?! What does your slip say?

England: “A boulder”. It doesn’t have to be a literal boulder, though. Your head’s as hard as a boulder, so you should do!

Germany: What did you say? If that’s how you’re going to be, then I’ll just sit right down here and refuse to move, just like a boulder! *sits down* Take me with you if you can!

England: HAH?! Come on, you can cooperate a little, can’t you?!


Japan: Italy-kun! Run to the goal with me, please!

Italy: Veh? Me? Sure, I’ll go! *runs off with Japan* …Hey, hey, Japan. What’s written on your paper?

Japan: U-uh…

Italy: I wonder what it could be. I’m super curious! Maybe it says “a friend”? Or even “someone who’s good at drawing”?

Japan: Yes, well… something like that.


Prussia: Kesesese! I don’t have to borrow a thing for “The best man in the world”! All I have to do is run to the goal by myself!

France: What?! “The best man in the world”?! *starts running alongside* If that’s the choice you drew, then shouldn’t you be taking Big Brother here with you? Feast your eyes on this face so gorgeous it would surprise even for flowers of Marseille!

Prussia: Where the hell did you come from?! No way am I taking you with me! I’m clearly the better man!

France: Are your eyes rotten?!

Prussia: Alright! I crossed the finish line! Wait… where’s the finish line ribbon?

Canada: Oh, that? Greece broke through it already.

Prussia: *jumps* Whoa, Canada! When the heck did you get here?

Canada: That’s so mean! But I placed second. You’re third.

Japan: *panting* Goaaaal… Hah, 4th place, huh?

Italy: *panting* I’m tired… But since it was for Japan, I don’t mind at all!

Japan: Th-thank you very much.

Italy: Huh? Canada… why did you bring a panda with you? Did your slip say “panda”?

Canada: Nope, actually it says “Othello,” but I thought maybe I could get away with this since he’s black and white. The judges decided to allow it. The executive committee members sure are nice!

Japan: I see… I can’t help feeling that maybe the resistance they put up is just a little weak.

Italy: Hmm? It doesn’t look like Prussia brought an item at all…

Prussia: My slip said “the best man in the world,” see! I didn’t have to bring anyone with me for that!

Japan: Oh, I’m afraid it’s required. The rule about borrowing something absolutely must be followed.

Prussia: Wh—Seriously?!

Italy: Yayyy! That means Japan’s moved up a spot!

Cat: Meowwww~

Italy: Huh? I heard a cat just now. Did you bring that, Greece?

Gcreece Cat? …There are no… cats here.

Prussia: Hah?? That’s obviously a cat, no matter how you look at it!

Greece: A desk.

Japan: I beg your pardon?

Greece: This is… a desk.

Canada: Huh? But it’s clearly a cat…

Greece: Why? It has… 4 legs… and a surface… you can put things on… It’s the same as a desk… with a fur rug on it… What’s the difference?

Japan: I… suppose there isn’t one.

Canada: It doesn’t seem like we’ll be able to argue Greece down from this. So then I guess it should be ok if I stay in second place, right?

Italy: Woohoo! That makes you 3rd place, Japan! Speaking of, Japan, what was written on your slip?

Japan: Ah, um, well… *holds out his slip*

Italy: Lemme see, lemme see! *takes the slip* Um… Use.. less…? “Someone useless”?

Japan: A-ahh…

Italy: You’re so mean, Japan! You came straight to me! At least pretend to agonize over it a little! If nothing else, you could have sugar-coated it a little!

Japan: I’m sorry! I just kinda went with the first thing that came to mind…! H-huh? Whatever happened to England-san?

England: Hngh…! Hrghh…!

Germany: I don’t think you’re going to be able to lift me.

Japan: Looks like England-san is disqualified for running out of time.