Hetalia Fantasia 2 – Track 04 “Chapter Three – An Unusual Trio and The Skillful Tradesman”

Narrator: Chapter 3 – “An Unusual Trio and The Skillful Tradesman”

*Horror sound*

Narrator: We begin this chapter in front of a very scary dungeon. However, the many adventurers exploring this dungeon also it gives it a bustling atmosphere!

*pause*

Narrator: Oh? It seems France has logged in.

France: Hehehe, woohoo! I’m finally first! That means I don’t get to hear that annoying England say, “Hmph, why the hell are you so late!? I came here 45 minutes ago!” Hurrah! Since I’m first, I’ll say something really cool and magnifique when they arrive!

*France laughs*

France: *sparkles* If you kept a parisienne (female native or resident of Paris) waiting this long, she would’ve returned long ago.

France: Hmm… That lacks elegance.

Russia: Hi ya!

France: Wait, I got the perfect line!

France: *sparkles* You didn’t need to worry about me for The Seine’s calming, flowing waters kept me company until all of you made your arrival. Huh, what!?

Russia: Hi there! You’re late.

France: Huh, what? You were here, Russia!?

Russia: I’ve been waiting, you know. I waited a long time, but no one came so I thought I got left out of the group. America and England arrive on time most of the time, right? When I wondered what I was going to do then, I decided to go somewhere and I peacefully received some items from my new friends.

France: You probably used that pole in your hand, right? Did you?

Russia: I just held it. I didn’t actually use it. America’s just awful for calling us here and ends up being late. He’s 130 minutes late, just like you are, France!

France: Ah, uh, I was busy with a strike. Still, it’s really rare to see punctual England and America late like this.

Russia: Hehe~. If the two of them arrive anytime soon, I’ll let you knock England on the head.

France: Oh, that sounds… like a pretty good offer.

Russia: Right?

China: Hey, you two! You should’ve greeted me when you came!

France: China. You were here too, huh?

Russia: Oh, you came, China! I’m sorry. I guess you came while I was receiving my items from my new friends.

China: Ah, please wait a moment! I’m busy with some customers now!

*ka-ching*

China: These are some fresh medicinal herbs that I just received not too long ago, honorable customer! Normally, these would cost 19 heta at other stores, but I charge only 15 heta for them!

Player 1: Yeah, that’s pretty cheap so I’ll take 20 of them.

China: Thank you very much!

Player 2: How do you keep your prices so low, anyways?

China: My apprentices in province 23, sector 5, area 4, and special administrative region 2 helps me with all my work.*

[T/N: *Rough translation.]

Players: Uh…huh…

China: Please stop by again!

France: He even does business when he’s waiting. I’d expect… well, this is actually pretty natural for him.

China: You should always sell things to other adventurers when you’re waiting! I can’t believe the two of you are standing around in front of a dungeon, a hot spot for business! Chinese people do not waste a second of time.

Russia: But don’t you lay out in your garden and nap in the sun, and do some weird dance in the morning and suck out the MP of other people, China?

China: It is not a weird dance, it’s tai chi chuan and it does not suck MP! I am at a ripe age now, so I have to take care of my body.

Russia: Then you should start by sitting up straight instead of stooping in front of your computer.

China: Ack! My back is just fine. I am living a healthy lifestyle.

France: You’ve acquired a substantial amount of money in this game, right China? I just have to ask, how much do you actually have saved up?

China: Hehehe. You’ve finally asked THE question! That’s right! In fact, I’m the second richest player in the game! I have enough money to produce an unimaginable amount of the most used items in the game! I even have warehouses filled with rare items!

France: Seriously!? R-really!?

China: Yup! In fact, I have 10 warehouses filled with them! The warehouses might even be big enough to build a town inside!

France: Woah. That’s enough money to make me envious.

China: Playing online games is one of my specialties, after all! I’d probably be ranked CEO of an online game if they had a leaderboard! With my incredible focus and my network, there’s nothing I can’t tackle online!

Russia: You’re also a really good team player! I really want to be better friends with you~!

China: I think if I did that, you’d just show up in my home of your own accord. Well, all that aside, I’m making plenty of profits in real life and in game! With this much Heta, I can buy so much Hel*beep* ty stuff! I’ll buy so much snacks, and then when a holiday comes up, I’ll sleep all day and munch on those snacks while watching some TV! Also, I’ll mail order that one fascinating product I saw in one of America’s promotion things! Ohh, I just can’t wait to be surrounded by them! I’ll create a room filled with all of my favorite things and I’m going to smile so much~!

France: Hold on a minute! Even if you do make all that profit, won’t all the money go straight back to the developers!?

Russia: Finding faults with a person’s happiness only leads to a fallen snowman, France!

China: Now then, let us go to more dungeons, and grind and get more items! I will become richer!

France: I wonder if this is really one way to enjoy playing a game? I’m an old man so maybe I just don’t understand what’s fun with the kids these days.

Russia: oh, that’s right! Hey, China! Would you mind doing me a favor?

China: Hmm?

Russia: Do you think you can forge a weapon that matches me out of these items? Can you?

China: Aiya… I haven’t seen these items before. But worry not! Guangdong and Liaoning can make anything out of any item! They do it all the time!

France: Woah, that’s a pretty nice item you have there! Where’d you get that from? Did you get this item while you were waiting for us?

Russia: Yup! I was just thinking that paying America to play this game was stupid, and then I just clicked around and found it!

China: Wooaahh, even I haven’t seen this! Where can you get this item?

Russia: Hmm? It’s nearby. Would you like me to show you it?

France: Yeah, let’s go! Knowing America and England, they’re probably arguing which one of them makes better movies.

Russia: Wahh~, the three of us going on an adventure, huh? I’m getting excited!

China: Itemmmmsssss~!

*pause then dungeon music plays*

China: What’s with this place? I don’t see any other players around. It’s really not unusual to see at least one or two players hanging around a dungeon.

Russia: Hehe! Maybe I’m the first one to reach this dungeon?

France: Looks like it… Seeing a dungeon this empty without players, this place either has to be a premium pay dungeon, or this dungeon isn’t suppose to be playable yet.

Russia: Now, now France. There’s no way I’d hack to gain access to this dungeon! It’s just a regular dungeon just like all the others.

France: Then that’s good, but that sort of thing happening is probable in England’s home… Still, you’ve got some sharp eyes to discover this place!

Russia: Hehe~! I did “tinker” with my computer a bit though!

France: YOU DEFINITELY DID SOMETHING BAD, DIDN’T YOU!?

Russia: Everyone does some “tinkering” sometimes. Right, China?

China: Uhhh, tinkering is kind of scary to do.

*walks*

China: But if this dungeon is filled with items no one has, I’ll be able to sell exclusive stuff to everyone! I’m burning up! Just wait, I’m gonna conquer this rickety castle!

France: Is everything going to be all right even if I have low defense? If things go wrong, I’m going on strike, you know?

Russia: Everything is under control! You don’t need to worry that much!

*opens door*

Monster 1: NGOH, it’s Mr. Russia!

Monster 2: A very, very good day to you, Russia, sir! We won’t do anything to you so please don’t do anything back!

Monster 3: We’re really sorry! Please don’t make us dig, please! We’re SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!

Russia: Yaay, everyone is buddy buddy!

France: He actually struck fear into a program! Good God, Russia…

China: All right! Now we can heal and stock up on herbs anytime now! Good find, Russia!

*Russia laughs*

France: Honestly… I’ll be waiting right here so hurry and get your it-… Huh?

*sparkle stuff and France is in awe*

*music plays*

France: Woooooow! The interior design in this place is pretty ravishing!

Russia: I agree. They really stressed the graphics in here, it’s big, and there’s so much rooms to look in so it’s really fun to explore!

France: Ahhh! Did they use the Château de Versailles as a reference to design this place!? They did, right!? This wallpaper and interior design reminds me so much of it!

Russia: That might be the case! I love the Palace of Versailles too. It always comes out so jumbled though when I try to make one~.

France: Man, this place is awesome! America must’ve finally realized just how magnificent I really am! He’s such a great guy! This has touched the heart of your big brother!

Russia: Hehehe~, I’m glad to see that China and France love this place. Hey, new friends, would you mind making some tea for us?

Monsters: Y-yes, sir!

*Monsters run off*

France: America… You’ve always pretended you didn’t like my style. The truth is that you’ve always liked me, my art, and my sense of style! I know, I know. Your big brother knows how you feel. America, I apologize for tricking you into thinking that a snack diet was a great way to lose weight! You’ve finally realized just how wonderful I am~!

China: HERE TOO! IN HERE TOO! Items, items! Heta, Heta, Heta, Heta! So much Heta to make! With this, I’m definitely the richest player in the game!

*pause then ghostly sounds*

France: All right! Today, I shall examine, grade, and check the aestheic and sensiblity of every nook and cranny in this wonderful place~!

China: Well then, I’ll check every nook and cranny in this place until I find all the items in this dungeon! Ei, ei, OHHHHH, ARU!

Russia: Hehehe~! When I see them work like this, it feels like a really functional and friendly party! I’m part of it too. Right?

Monster: I can see it! I CAN REALLY SEE IT, SIRRRRRR!

Narrator: It looks like these three are having fun playing in there.