Russia: Hello, Russia here. Today we’re gathering in Italy with G8. Italy is so nice, it’s bright and the food is good.. I love it. Ahh, the climate of Italy-kun’s home is so nice~ … though it’s a bit too hot, but..
Narrator: So, today the G8 members are having a meeting in Italy and during the summertime it is around 30 degrees Celsius. By the way, the average temperature of Moscow in July is around 20 degrees Celsius. But during winter the average temperature is around minus seven degrees Celsius — as one would expect from the country of General Winter..
Russia: I heard some annoying voice just now, that must be why it got so hot suddenly! Fufu~
Belarus: Big brother~ I was wondering where you disappeared to and got re~ally worried!
Belarus: Tsch. Even though I’m your one and only cute little sister, why won’t you get excited?
Russia: Because I know your everyday behaviour so well. But I’m all right as you see, so you can go home now. Mm, just go home, really! Going home is fun–
Belarus: I love you, big brother~! I wanna get married! Super love love~
Russia: Um.. maybe you should just do what you want.
Belarus: All right! Let’s go together to the conference hall.
[T/N: I’m not really sure what happens here.. It sounds like Belarus stepping on a cat–]
Russia: Yup, I’m all right! This is all normal after all. It’s normal behaviour for siblings.. .. .. normal behaviour…. normal….. … …No it’s not.
Belarus: This is the road my big brother is walking, I won’t let you interrupt!
[T/N: I guess there is a cat and Belarus strangles it now.]
Japan: No matter how many times I visit here, Italy-kun’s home’s climate and nature are so wonderful.. And still Italy-kun and his people go to visit different summer resorts.. it is such a waste.
Japan: Anyway, I’m happy the G8 chose this season. If it was even a month later, it’d have overlapped with the time of the Bon Festival.. it would have been so.. so terrible!
Japan: Oh, what is that sound?
Ukraine: Oh my, oh my.. I don’t know which direction takes me to the G8 conference.. The map says here, but.. Oh no! I’m so stupid! This map dates back to 1990! Seriously, I’m just so clumsy…
Japan: G8? I don’t recognise her, but.. is she somebody’s staff member?
Ukraine: Right.. or left..? Probably right, maybe..? Sigh…
Japan: I would say something to her, but she might think I seem suspicious.. Hmmh.. Italy-kun and France-san would definitely say something in this situation but, what about me?..
Ukraine: I don’t know which direction I should take but.. there’s a place where I have to go to! WAIT FOR ME~
Japan: My name is Japan [[watashi Nihon to moushimasu]], it seems you’re looking for the meeting place of G8, so.. Uh, no, my self-introduction is too abrupt.. Mmmh….
Japan: I should imitate Italy-kun, like… WAAAA I AM JAPAN~ [[watashi Nihon da yo~]]
Japan: …. THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING! No way I’d say something that embarrassing! It’s so embarrassing that my back hurts!
Japan: Oh…!! While I was thinking about it, she disappeared somewhere.. Why does this always happen to me?
Russia: AAAAA~! Japan-kun, long time no see!
Japan: Uwah, please stop! You startled me!
Russia: Great to see that you look so healthy! I was wondering if you stayed home again today drawing manga or playing games or something! By the way, it seems my president appears in your game! I wonder if I could try it?
Japan: *COUGH COUGH* I don’t know! Um.. but you could try the manga.
Russia: Fufu, there’s even a manga! I’m so happy..
Japan: *COUGH COUGH* No, that’s–
Pochi: *some weird noises*
Japan: Uh, by the way.. What are you doing in a place like this?
Russia: Mm, I was taking a small walk before going to the conference.
Belarus: *weird noises*
Japan: Er.. I can feel an extremely sinister wind blowing from behind your back..
Belarus: I won’t forgive you, I won’t forgive you, I won’t forgive you…..
Japan: A-ah, um, could you stop that natural cooler….?!
Belarus: *REALLY WEIRD NOICES*
Russia: … I too think it’d be nice if I could stop it by will…
Japan: You can’t stop it?!
Russia: U-um! You have probably seen each other many times in world conferences but I’ll introduce you now! This girl is my little sister, Belarus. Belarus, this is Japan-kun. He is under my power!
Japan: I am not under you!
Russia: Ufu~ You’re bottom~ *poke poke*
Japan: *squirming* … you’re not easy to talk to, right.. Ah, hello, Belarus-san. My name is Japan.
Belarus: … You’re.. that.. the person that big brother keeps talking about, “I want him, I want him” …. THAT…
Japan: .. Russia-san, it seems that the cooler’s temperature control has gone even further down…
Russia: This is a common thing in Russia, Japan-kun! Italy-kun’s place is so hot, so.. isn’t it nice?
Belarus: That bastard is the one that big brother wants? What’s so good about this guy..!?
Japan: U-UWAH– AH, WAIT A– WHAT ARE YOU–
–Belarus squeezes herself inside Japan’s clothes–
Belarus: If you want him so much, then..!! How about this, big brother! Can’t you stop wanting, wanting, wanting me now?!
Japan: T-this is..!! A traditional Japanese advocate.. “nininbaori”!
[T/N: means something like a coat for two … but really, advocate..?]
Russia: What the heck’s that?
Japan: To think she has learnt about nininbaori, this person is something special..!
Belarus: WHAT DO YOU THINK, BIG BROTHER?! CAN’T WE GET MARRIED LIKE THIS? LET’S GET MARRIED LET’S GET MARRIEEEED
Russia: So.. I get the front? I don’t want to get married–
Belarus: THAT’S HORRIBLE. BROTHER, YOU’RE HORRIBLE. YOU’LL GET CURSED, I’M GOING TO CURSE YOU! I’LL MAKE IT SO THAT BIG BROTHER CANNOT WATCH HIS FAVORITE TV CHANNEL FOR ONE HOUR EVERY WEEK!
[T/N: no idea if this is correct, I can’t understand anything about her shouting]
Russia: STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
Russia: … ugh… I’m sorry for letting you see something weird.
Japan: …. Yes. Your little sister is quite radical.
Russia: J-just a little.. Anyway, it really is so hot in here…
Japan: How about removing your scarf..?
Russia: I can’t, it’s a body part.
Japan: Oh, my..
* * *
Russia: Huh, finally we got to the conference hall.
Russia: I wanna get into the hall and cool myself soon..
Japan: … I think it’s completely your scarf’s fault that you’re feeling hot though …
Russia: Now now, Japan-kun.. Do you really want to see me without my scarf so badly? Do you??
Japan: Eh, uh.. “Yeeees, of course I want to seee and take a picture with my mobile phone toooo”… … do I look like I’d say that?
Russia: …. You’ve become better at picking a fight lately, right? I wo~nder whose fault that is..?
Japan: I just want everybody to understand things differently.
England: Oh, Japan! Where did you loiter to? I thought you’d be late– … uh, um, anyway, the conference is starting soon so, get in already.
Japan: Oh, England-san.. Thank you very much for specially coming to pick me up.
England: I-it’s not like that..! I just didn’t want the conference to start late and… uh, and then, Russia can just go home with my permission….
Russia: Bohohoo! That’s a sad joke, England-kun.
Belarus: … I won’t forgive him for making big brother look lame, I won’t forgive him, I won’t forgive him….
England: E-even if you two are doing such scary faces, they won’t affect me…!! T-they won’t…
Japan: Don’t give up, England-san..
Japan: … F-for now, let’s enter the hall quickly. Russia-san was feeling hot too–
Russia: Oh, that’s right! I lo~ve cool weather! And hate hot.. though I hate cold weather even more.
Belarus: Mm, I don’t like cold, it’s scary..
England: … cut out that talk that makes the coldness reach here.
Narrator: Like that, without any guidance from the host-country of Italy, the G8 conference drew its curtains open.
England: All right, today’s topic is us.
Japan: Thinking about the members of G8, right, England-san?
America: AAAARGH! I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT, JAPAN!
Japan: R.. really. I’m sorry, America-san.
America: And then, this is totally off-topic but, when can I try that game with two surprised shibari girls and that manga with my president?
Japan: Uh.. When I get back, I’ll contact my boss and complete them.
America: Okay! I’ll leave it to you!
England: I WAS THE ONE TALKING SO SHUT UP! Umm.. ahem.
–Canada is talking in the background but drowns under everything else–
England: Anyway, let me first say my opinion; I think this G8 is getting stuck in a rut, meaning it should shape up a bit.
America: SHAPE UP!? IF YOU MEAN THERE’LL BE NO HAMBURGERS AND MILK-SHAKES ANYMORE– DON’T SAY SUCH INHUMAN THINGS!! IF YOU DO THAT I’M GOING TO DIE!!
England: I WON’T!! I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT THAT, I MEANT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE! STA~RE..
Russia: Don’t stare at me like that!
England: .. don’t break people’s stares like that.
Belarus: For bullying big brother, for bullying big brother.. big brother.. BIG BROTHER….
Belarus: Big brother…. people who bully my big brother….. KKGKKGKGKKGK
England: … Russia, stop your little sister.
Russia: It’s impossible. For now, I think we’re fine with eight countries.. What about you? I wonder what Canada-kun thinks.
Canada: Eh? U-um.. yeah, I think about this thing, like..
Canada: I’m Canada! Let’s see.. So, I think we should–
–Canada keeps talking in the background–
France: If we’re stuck in a rut, how about adding somebody new? Like Spain? He’s my personal favorite.
America: No way, not him! Whenever he sees me, he tries to attack me with his knees!
Germany: Mm, Spain, eh? I will agree with France then.
America&France: Ehhh?! Germany?!
Germany: BUT, G8 means that we’re talking about the requirement of eight countries. In other words, as a celebration for Spain’s participation, thank you for your effort up until now, France.
France: EEEEEHH??! ME?! What are you saying?! I thought we’ve been getting along well with each other recently! Is that some kind of German joke?! Hey~ I’ll ride only in Peugeots if you say something like that! Don’t you mind?!
[T/N: I don’t really understand how the rest of their conversation has anything to do with anything so I’ll skip to the next scene.]
Japan: Um, would you like to look at each nation’s historical archives from the past 10 years with me?
England: Huh? Okay, let me see. Hmm-mm..
Japan: What do you think?
England: Mm, yeah.. The statistics and achievements compared to present.. Italy–
Germany: *COUGH* Please, forget that you saw that.
England: I got it, it can’t be helped!
Japan: It’s not good to get too spoiled, isn’t it!
Germany: I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.
[T/N: somebody tell me what’s going on in here]
Japan: So, Germany-san, everything went back to normal in the end so, please do your usual thing.
Germany: Y-yeah. Cough.. YOU BASTARDS! CONTINUE THE CONFERENCE SERIOUSLY! All of you have eight minutes of time left AND DON’T MURMUR!
* * *
Russia: Ha~ It’s hot but the wind is cool.. Today’s conference didn’t make any progress in the end.. Well, sooner or later I will be the one deciding about everything anyway, fufufu..
Belarus: Then the world will become ours, big brother.
Russia: Belarus! Weren’t you supposed to go buy a Spitz and get forcibly sent home..?!
Belarus: Oh, that? I broke that. I get worried if you’re alone. Also.. I thought you might not be preparing for our future wedding..
Russia: .. wait.. You can’t break that and you’re off-topic anyway..
Belarus: Even if my topics aren’t connected, my feelings and heart are! Listen, big brother!! The Belarus rock of my heart!!
Russia: nothing makes sense here
Belarus: … That sounds is..!
Ukraine: I’m going to meet Russia-chan!.. .. I’m not going.. I’m going! … ..I’m not going.. … Ahh, “I’m not going”, the petals ended here!
Russia: Big sister~ What are you doing here?
Belarus: Invasion of siblings…. What’re you doing, big sister?
Ukraine: Oh, Russia-chan and Belarus-chan! I’m so glad! I was coming to meet Russia-chan but got lost.. B-but, I was wondering whether I should reconciliate with Russia-chan or go to make friends with other countries, I couldn’t choose.. so I decided to ask the flowers whether I should go to meet him.. Ahh, the outcome was not to meet him! What should I do?! *bawwwllll*
Russia: .. B-big sister, calm down..
Ukraine: Wait for me, I’ll rip a petal that says “go to meet him” really soon! …. Ahhh, it says “I’m not going” again..!! Why am I like this, like this…..
Russia: C-calm down, big sister!
Ukraine: This time, this time..!! Ahh, “I’m not going” aga~in!
Russia: .. Big sister..
Japan: Oh? That voice is..
England: Hm? What is it, Japan? Isn’t that the opposite direction of your way?
Japan: Yes, but I heard a familiar voice from there, so.. I’ll go to check a bit.
Japan: Ah, if you’re in a hurry, feel free to go ahead.
England: I don’t really mind. It’d be troublesome to come looking for you if you got lost so I’ll come with you.
Japan: Thank you very much!
England: Come on, let’s go.
Ukraine: When it’s about Russia-chan, this always happens to me.. I’m sorry for being such a bad big sister! I’m sorry for being poor! I’m sorry for not being able to pay the money! I’m sorry that my greatest people are women!
Russia: Don’t worry about earlier stuff, and you’re managing with the debts, so..
Ukraine: Wait for me, Russia-chan, I’ll definitely get a flower that says I’ll come to meet you! I’ll meet Russia-chan, I won’t, I will…. Wahh! It’s “I won’t” once again!
Russia: Just calm down already, big sister.
Belarus: You’ve been counting since the start, just take a flower with an odd number of petals already!
Ukraine: Eh? Ah, I see! Hehe, Belarus-chan is so smart! I’m so so happy that you grew up to be a good girl!
Belarus: And now I’ll remind you how you weren’t able to adopt big brother like that.
[T/N: whatever Ukraine responds idk i’m too tired now]
Japan: .. ah..
England: .. what’s up with this sight of Russia being so unusual..
Japan: I wonder…
England: All right, I shall take a photo as a proof!
Japan: POLAROID?! A-ah, it’s nothing…. It’s just so nostalgic..
England: Yeah, a gentleman has to have a Polaroid. I’m not sure but this might be the chance to look for Russia’s weak spot! All right, Japan, let’s listen carefully.
Japan: …. Polaroid…!! Polaroid!! And it’s sepia..!! Gentlemen sure have their means…!
Ukraine: Ah, I found it, I found it! An odd-numbered flower! I’m going to meet Russia-chan.. ahh, I’m so happy! If my boss says it’s okay, I’ll definitely go to meet Russia-chan properly this time! I’ll bring a bread baked with fresh milk as a present! And I’ll pay back the boat!
Russia: A bread and a boat aren’t in the right proportion with each other, big sister~
Ukraine: Goodbye, Russia-chan!! Goodbye~
Russia: I won’t change a boat into a bread!! …. I really don’t know what I should do.
Belarus: Mm.. Then.. I’ll sing for you..
Russia: Whatever. …. I envy siblings who can understand each other…
England: … What’s up with those siblings, being like that.. I don’t get a thing!
Japan: Russia-san’s place was stormy and full of drama even before it scattered all over, that’s why..
England: Yeah, but.. even though the pot shouldn’t be calling the kettle black…
Russia: Hey, you two! What are you doing in a place like that?