Tag: italy

Hetare 4: Pact of Steel 1


　

　

　

Lithuania and Russia

After Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin finished their conference at Yalta,
they went on a sightseeing flight to the Black Sea.
No sooner than they’d taken off, a devil jumped onto
the airplane’s wing and started to destroy the engine.
Churchill kept his cool and began to negotiate.

“Sir, if you’ll stop that,
I’ll give you a seat in the House of Lords.”

The devil, however, refused to listen.
A few minutes later, Roosevelt said to the devil,

“Hey, you, yes, you. If you’ll stop,
I’ll give you as much Californian farmland and new Packard cars as you want.”

But the devil continued to destroy the engines.
At this point, Stalin gently shouted,

“Hey, you fuckwad, if you don’t stop that right
now I’ll throw you into the kolkhoz!”

At the moment the devil heard those words,
it flew away, never to be seen again.

From the kolkhoz that even the devil fears.

　

Lithuania and the Happy Three Baltic States

Although Lithuania used to be a big country with Poland,
Russia did its best to break that apart—>Lithuania is ‘recruited’.
Afterwards, poor Lithuania’s plight was to be beaten up by Russia day after day.
By the way, Lithuania-kun likes martial arts.
He’s also the (relatively) most cheerful among the Baltic states.

　

　


The Trembling Trio

　

　

　


　

　

　

　

　


The Pact of Steel. A treaty exchanged between Germany and Italy
to help each other out if each is ever in a bind.
This pact will change the two Italy’s immeasurably in the future.

　

next⇒
coming soon


　

Translation: equivalent-t, konkira, hetamushitama, jammerlea
Original Translated Version | Original

Hetare 3: G-R Nonaggression Pact?

　

In the war, Italian tanks took one week to reach a target 60 kilometers away, but once they saw English troops, retreated the same distance in one day!

　

　

There’s a legend that goes how an Italian corps all deserted upon running into the English, and then gets caught by stupid reasons…
like hitting on women or sleeping in a restaurant.

　

A chair that’s an English Specialty (?) in which you’ll die if you sit.
It has apparently cursed and killed 61 people who sat in it…
Go google about the Busby’s Chair!

　

■Study■

Why did England and America fight?

France and Native Americans once fought the English colonies in a territorial dispute (The French-Indian War).
Thanks to England’s reinforcements, America managed to defeat France and the Native Americans and acquired more territories.

At this point, however, England’s characteristic tsundere-ness selfishness (‘don’t buy tea from anyone except me’, ‘don’t be close to anyone except me’) had created a good deal of animosity for America. Though part of it was caused by his economy getting strained by supporting the latter in the war,

That’s when America fought England to earn its freedom.
By the way, though England won at first, America managed to turn the tables at the last minute and achieved victory.

And now, the present. Fight, England, fight!

　

　

　

　

　

Germany 180 cm
Italy 172 cm
Japan 165 cm

America 177 cm
England 175 cm
France 175 cm
Russia 182 cm
China 169 cm

Source: An American survey of average heights across countries.

　

　

　

　

　

I have a feeling that Russia may invade the next chapter.
By the way, the Tripartite Pact came after the non-aggression pact formed between Germany and Russia. But Germany-Italy-Japan + Russia will continue like this because it seems interesting.

　


　

Translation: equivalent-t, rainy_takako, konkira, hetamushitama, don_amoeba
Original Translated Version | Original

Hetare 2: Allied Forces


　

Russia is a really interesting country.

Russian soldiers exclaimed, “You just turn the knob and water comes out!” and joyfully took the water spigots. They didn’t know about the existence of radar until the war was over. Airplanes were flown by the naked eye. A Russian soldier didn’t know how to wind up his wrist watch, so he ended up wearing watches all up and down his arms. Although Russia frequently appears innocent and that there are a lot of lovely sights to see like in the country, more than a fair share of cruel stories come from Russia as well. Perhaps by stopping a sense of honesty it will conversely become brutality.


　

Translation: equivalent-t, ryuichi
Original Translated Version | Original

Hetalia Chapter 1


Hiding explosives in churches because “God is supposed to protect it” and letting them explode.
Losing against bows and old-fashioned weapons despite having the newest equipment.
Getting tanks stolen during a break.
It’s the story of this gentle Italy.

“Refuses to work if there aren’t any women around,
but if they are, he refuses too.”
– or so it seems.

At that point, Italy undauntedly joined the Axis, but without thinking anything. It ended up wasting 10 more days to actually get ready.

While Germany subsisted on boiled potatoes,
Italy ate a full-course meal regardless of what mortar is in the air at the moment, or so the legend goes.

Italy’s invasion of Egypt ended up having a 1-in-4 casualty rate, and the very busy Germany ended up having to intervene. Oh, Italy.

You might say that the Italian ‘weakness’ is actually the national secret wisdom. After WWII ended, German troops captured by Yugoslavian partisans were too stubborn to yield even after prolonged torture, which made their Serbian captors even madder. Italian troops, on the other hand, wept and begged for mercy in a few minutes, which spared them the torture. Or so the story goes!

From: “Why is the Italian army so weak?”

■Another version■

An Italian soldier was captured, bound, and tortured.
But no matter what was done to him, he never said a word.
Exasperated, his captors finally unbounded him and the soldier, at once,
began gesturing wildly and speaking like a machine gun.
It was then that the captors realized:

“Wait, so this guy can’t speak unless he’s gesturing!”

I’ll be uploading them like this.

Translation: equivalent-t, lost-hitsu, spaghettifelice, y4nderenka, don_amoeba
Original Translated Version | Original

Happily Ever After


And thus, Mister Prussia was able to read a story that was lovely like blue skies, sparkling brooks, and flapping birds.
And they lived happily ever after.


The late Mr. Sausage, who lived with two of the three greatest gluttons of the fairy tale world.
The difference between the first and seventh editions is funny.
Also, in Mr. Charles Perrault’s stories, the comments that he periodically inserted are stylish and lovely.


Continue reading Happily Ever After