Germany is playing an impossible game

■Germany is playing an impossible game

Germany let everybody rely on him a bit too much and is now playing a lost game.
“You have to help those who depend on you!”
“Good luck, Germany, we will cheer for you from the outside!”
And the like, he alone is now carrying on his shoulders the hopes and expectations of all EU countries.

■Target of the assault

【Greece】
Main culprit of the “impossible game”.
The whole problem started as he joined the Euro zone.

Thanks to Greece, Germany had to mobilize all his resources, and he is now fully dependent on him.
Despite this situation, he’s mostly eating good food, sleeping, thinking about philosophy and is generally happy like usually.
Greece brings up old stories of how they used to beat him up, so he can be a bit difficult to handle when he tries to interact with them.

【Spain】
Real estate bubble is his main problem.
His house is full of beautiful places and the service is excellent, and thanks to that he has the world’s second largest incomes from tourism.
He is very optimistic and when he sees the hardships Germany has to overcome, he sings songs for him so that he gets better. Germany would love to hit him for that, but that would mean game over, so he just puts up with it.

【Italy】
Poor fellow in an unfortunate situation. In reality, the GDP of the Northern part of Italy surpasses the EU average, but even being the secret top-student doesn’t help him very much since he is grouped with the incapable lot.
From the countries presented he is the most favoured one and he is willing to work hard, so the fact that he still looks cute is mainly due to the buckets of seawater coming from his eyes.

【Italy (South)】
Spain used to take care of a lot of things for him, but after the unification his house is falling apart a bit.
His bosses weren’t really good and combined with other matters, he lost his spirit and since then rejoices in idleness.
Once helped, he relies on someone even with taking out his garbage.

■Other countries

【France】
Lately the friendliest of all EU partners. He cooperates on many levels, but…
He can be quite stuck-up and stand in a way of a lot of matters!
The France-Germany tandem is a very troublesome thing.

【Austria】
A reliable country that likes to approach things with a sober seriousness.
He approves of and supports lots of Germany’s ideas so he may look like one of the helper countries, but in reality the level of his dependency is pretty high.
So high that when Germany catches a little cold, Austria goes straight to high fever and eventually collapses, and so he doesn’t have much of a choice than to take good care of himself.

【Switzerland】
The forever independent country who maintains his cool air of complete indifference. His assumed safe capital attracts a lot of attention.
He will listen to those who want to consult with him their hard situation, but don’t expect any consolation.
That he won’t hang up on you is nice enough.

【Finland】
A nice country that is cooperating like an honour student with a permanent smile on his face.
Right now he is taking various measures to help Greece.

【America】
Maybe it’s because he’s still young, but he tends to overlook a lot of things, which in turn causes new wrinkles on Germany’s forehead.

【The Netherlands】
Usually he is a pleasant coworker and a reliable business partner, but this time, but he’s losing his patience with Greece.
Right now he looks as if he would want to make Greece do something His showed his typical stinginess as he complained that the aid plan that Finland proposed wouldn’t bring him any profit. (currently completely refusing Austria’s plan)

【Russia】
Currently outstretching his tentacles towards Greece.
But if Greece would be won over by Russia, that would mean a new problem…
This is completely random but is it really true men in Russia greet each other with a kiss on the lips? Is that an assault order what.

【Denmark】
Germany, let’s build the bridge bridge bridge bridge bridge bridge bridge!

【Tourists】
Ho ho ho ho ho
ha ha ha ha ha

Germany enjoys German jokes.

Netherlands tends to lose his composure when Greece bothers him too much

Netherlands won’t go back together if something bad happened.

[ T/N: Hima uses “SAN値” which, as google told me, is the Japanese variation of Sanity used in Lovecraft’s Call of Cthulhu RPG.]

We have to get rid of the “wall in our hearts”, so that the country can get better and the progress will be naturally more effective!
When the Ostalgie level gets higher, Russia imposes himself on my big brother.
[ T/N: Ostalgie is a combination of Ost (East) and Nostalgie]

Can this assault be done!?
>Please add Hiroshima to your prefecture-tans!

Only Hokkaido, Chūbu and Chūgoku are left!

>The mochis must have been so cute as babies!

They were strangely cutely-uncute…

Translation: lost_hitsu, spaceinvaderdud, spaghettifelice
LJ: 1, 2 | Original